Peter helps Joe fulfill his dream of getting a book published, only to take over as the writer. In the meantime, Brian develops an extreme thirst for exercise.

After running into Jesus at the Quahog Mall, Peter is stunned to discover that the Son of God is still a virgin. So, he enlists Quagmire and Cleveland to help him throw Jesus the best birthday ever by finding a way to help him become a man.

Peter, Quagmire, Joe and Cleveland form a neighborhood detective agency, and are stunned to discover that Chris is a thief. Meanwhile, Lois is worried about Chris' delusional relationship with his new girlfriend, but also sees it as an opportunity for Peter to copy Chris' romantic gestures.