The Fatal Glass of Beer [as sung by W.C. Fields] - song starts at 2:13

There was once a poor boy and he left his country home and he came to the city to look for work. He promised his ma and pa he would lead a civilized [that word uncertain] life and always shun the fatal curse of drink.

Once in the city he got a situation in a quarry and there he made the acquaintance of some college students. He little thought they were demons for they wore the best of clothes, but the clothes do not always make the gentleman.

So they tempted him to drink and they said he was a coward until at last he took the fatal glass of beer. When he found what he'd done he dashed the glass upon the floor and he staggered through the door with delirium tremens.

Once upon the sidewalk he met a Salvation Army girl and wickedly he broke her tambourine. All she said was, "Heaven...Heaven bless you," and placed a mark upon his brow with a kick she'd learned before she had been saved.

Now as a moral to young men who come down to the city, don't go 'round breaking people's tambourines.

😂

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