In a satire of WWI films, Roland (of Doveland) and Rattfink (of Hawkland) go to war to defend their own interests of peace and violence.

Rattfink (a weed) continually tries to destroy the peace of Roland (a flower child) who steadfastly refuses to be brought down.

Roland is off to college for the first time at good 'ol P.U. When he gets to his college, the first thing he does is sign up for track. He could not have come at a better time, as the track team needs a runner to rival Rattfink in a track race. Roland and Rattfink now race to represent their beloved colleges.

To protect a stage-coach business, Rattfink must stop the Dodge City train (headed by Roland) from making it to Deadwood and connecting the two cities.

The dastardly bank robber Rattfink must escape the arm of the law, in this case the Canadian law-enforcer Roland, with his bounty of stolen bucks.

Roland, the good spy (one of us), has to protect a secret government letter from Rattfink, the bad spy (one of them).

Tired of always playing the villain, Rattfink demands to play the hero while Roland plays as his stand-in.

Rattfink finds the answer to his financial burdens in a widow who has inherited five million dollars. But he doesn't bank on all the housework or having to deal with her son, Junior.

What's a dirty rat to do if he can't make money with zero effort? For Rattfink, bug his rich elderly uncle who's about to kick the bucket and make sure he is in his will.

Rattfink attempts to sabotage Roland's bridge building project so his uncle can sell the construction company low grade materials at high grade prices.

Roland Hood, in his kind heart nature, takes the money tax-collector Rattfink took from the poor. The two battle it out with some help from some friends.

Roland is sent by "His Majesty, The King" to put the notorious pirate Rattfink under bars.

Roland is given the job of protecting a valuable diamond in a museum overnight, but Rattfink is hiding inside when the museum closes.

Roland and Rattfink must once again race to represent their colleges, but this time in self-made cars.

For obstructing his skating time (accidentally), Rattfink is determined to get back at Roland while avoiding the cop guarding the rink.

In the idyllic old west, Roland the cowboy and Rattfink the cowrustler battle it out to the very end.