Having been thrown out of yet another care home Queenie becomes an unwelcome guest at Ted and Barbara's house refusing to move out. However an unfortunate accident persuades Queenie that she is not wanted and decides to leave - though another one almost prevents her from going. Ted has a run-in with two transvestites,which spells humiliation for Jean,whilst Neil is unnerved by new girlfriend Isobel,who drops unsubtle hints about their wedding and even exposes him to the scrutiny of his potential in-laws.

It's midnight and soon Valentine's Day will dawn but Ted and Martin have both forgotten and a quick visit to the all-night garage yields extremely unsuitable presents for their spouses. Ted tries to make amends by buying a second hand caravan and taking Barbara to the Lake District but the trip ends in disaster, Linda suspects Martin of an affair with co-presenter Wendy though matters are resolved when Wendy gives Martin her true opinion of him - unaware that the cameras are still rolling.

When the area is hit by a spate of burglaries Barbara joins the Neighbourhood Watch and hosts them at her house but so annoys the chairman Mr Dugdale he expels her from the group. Then the lights go out and Mr Dugdale falls down,losing his false teeth and hearing aid and,whilst groping under the piano for them,finding something rather unpleasant. With Linda away Martin agrees to accompany Neil to a club where he is meeting his date but both the date and her friend are big fans of Martin 's TV spot and ignore Neil.

After a trying day at work Barbara and Ted both decide to take early retirement but find themselves under each other's feet and with time on their hands so they decide to return to work,Ted making a mercy dash to help an extremely pregnant woman. Martin and Linda spend a weekend away with a very competitive couple,causing Linda to make up hidden talents for Martin,leading to a disastrous horse ride. Jean and Phil mind baby George in their absence but prove to be incompetent sitters and call for Barbara when they think they have lost the baby.

Linda and Martin have been trying for another baby without success - though Martin is more pleased about this than Linda, but nonetheless agrees to go with her to investigate I.V.F. treatment. Barbara decides it is time for Neil to move out but is not keen for him to be living in his girlfriend's dirty flat and once more starts to interfere. Jean is having trouble with her breast implants and when one of them explodes has to be rushed to hospital in an ice cream van.