At the beginning of Alexei's quest to explore stuff, we investigate the abject failure of social services to prevent Herod's massacre of the innocents and the bloody reign of Vlad the Impaler, why the BBC is better than you, door-to-door cat boilers, and Freddy Kreuger's tenure as head of the Royal Opera Company, while dancing around in a series of tight suits.

Alexei investigates Einstein's Wilderness Years writing scripts for George Formby films, the Queen's Award For Capitalist Exploitation, sings about word association and reveals that he once abused drugs by insulting paracetamol.

Witness what happens when two TV travel programmes experience a near collision, learn about Captain Pugwash's subsequent career as controller of BBC Two, and investigate the prong-horned antelope, a member of the gerbil family and a full-time stewardess with British Airways.

Scream in terror at 'Revenge Of The Bendy Toys', attend parties with man-eating Triffids, learn how to defend yourself against skinheads through the use of puckish epigrams, and visit the Princess Alexei Home For Bereaved Ventriloquist's Dummies.

Wonder at nature and the life cycle of the smoked salmon, learn of recent mass lay-offs in the works of Charles Dickens, experience the awkwardness of Jehovah's Witnesses on discovering they've knocked on the door of a lodging house for Biblical figures.