The poker-wielding, egg-throwing Duke of Dunstable threatens to have Clarence committed, so Clarence's faithful, port-fueled butler Beach and his feeble-witted son Freddie hatch a plan to rescue him.

Clarence and Connie's even more terrifying sister, Charlotte, is threatening to take up residence at Blandings permanently. Freddie comes to the rescue with an audacious plan to steal the Empress.

Clarence must prevent his younger brother Galahad publishing his scandalous memoirs and ruining the family name. If he fails, Connie will exile him to hellish London.

Connie is trying to impress Colonel Fanshawe, in the hope that Clarence might succeed Fanshawe as Lord Lieutenant of Shropshire; but Beach is behaving very oddly indeed..

Hannibal Didcot is bullying Clarence over a fake painting. Connie encourages Hannibal to propose to wealthy American Vanessa Polk, but Galahad and Freddie have other ideas.

Clarence's bid to win the Pumpkin prize is threatened by Connie's ambition to marry Freddie off to Sir Gregory's niece.