A weekend in the Garnett household is punctuated with rows, and the protagonist is generally Alf. Whether it is politics, family, drink or football, he has an opinion that is shared by very few - least of all his long-suffering wife Else and his son-in-law Mike.

Alf does not realise that Mike has drawn a face on his bald head while he was asleep and wanders off to the pub.

It is Else and Alf's twenty-fifth wedding anniversary though Alf has forgotten and it is left to Mike to give him a present to pass on to his wife, not that Alf is grateful. Mike and Rita take Alf and Else to dinner at a fancy place in the West End. But Alf gets drunk and Mike discovers he doesn't have enough money for the bill.

Alf's racist outbursts lead to his receiving a black eye at a cup final match in Scotland.

Mike tries to convince Alf to sell the house and buy a new larger modern house. However, Alf later learns his plans involve Mike having the title deeds.

Mike's Irish parents are staying with the Garnetts, much to Alf's annoyance.