Well, I've only seen the first season. But maybe he did, in his own way, love her. He wanted her back in the end, but maybe that just as to keep her as nice cover, a perfect little family. Or to "lay low" (for a while)? Or for his kids...

First of all: you must watch season 2 and 3. Now, about Paul loving Sally or not: I don't think he did. He cared for her, as a mother both to his children and in a broader sense as a nurturing woman. Plus, I totally agree about Sally being way below Paul's league. I was distracted by that as well, though not as distracted as I was by Jamie Dornan. He is a terribly handsome man, and he is actually quite a good actor (he's amazing in The Fall, especially on season 3).

great question and i think not.. esp after season 3 he seems so masterful at manipulation and so calculative that i can't imagine that he loved her. i remember feeling in season one that he wasn't able to be there emotionally for his kids whenever they spend time together. really great acting on jamie's part.

i mentioned in the other thread that i feel so bad for his wife and children. it was a great that the show touched on the devastation spector's life had on the one's around him.

@WizardsMug said:

great question and i think not.. esp after season 3 he seems so masterful at manipulation and so calculative that i can't imagine that he loved her. i remember feeling in season one that he wasn't able to be there emotionally for his kids whenever they spend time together. really great acting on jamie's part.

i mentioned in the other thread that i feel so bad for his wife and children. it was a great that the show touched on the devastation spector's life had on the one's around him.

Yeah, I agree. In fact everyone has made good points.

I think Spector married her because he wanted a "normal family" life. He chose her because she would settle for someone who wasn't really all a woman wants in a man. A woman with more options would not put up with an emotionally distant man, a man with so many secrets, a man who wanted the freedom to move around as he pleased. Perhaps he didn't do this consciously.

But I think he didn't love Sally Ann, he just wanted to be "married with children", to look normal. He probably hoped that he would feel more normal by getting married and having kids. Yeah she wasn't that attractive. Perhaps she had been in better shape when they first met, before she had had two children. In their sex scene he looked as if he were just going through the motions, and only because he wanted to appear to be in love with her, to mollify her, to convince her that everything would be better. He wanted to be married with kids so he fought to keep her. But not because he particularly cared for her per se. That was my take.

@😻 said:

I was definitely distracted by her being physically way below his league (sorry, I know that sounds terrible). I couldn't decide if he cared for her or not. I know he's capable of love, as I am pretty sure he loved his children. Was Sally Ann a convenience, did he love her, or maybe he even purposefully chose someone unattractive so they would put up with his inevitable nonsense?

I think he was acting as if in love, as much as he could. He knew how to mimic love of her, he knew how to manipulate her. He wanted a normal family, something he never had. But I don't think he was ever really in love with Sally Ann. I think she accepted him because she didn't have better options, and because he was good at showing her what she wanted to see. I don't know how consciously he chose Sally Ann. Maybe he just found she was easy to persuade, easy to manipulate, not too demanding, and she was normal. Also, he probably liked that she worked with children, as Spector felt protective toward children. I believe he only really had love for his daughter Olivia. Liv loved him in a way he had never known or felt love in his life.

@write2topcat said:

He wanted a normal family, something he never had. But I don't think he was ever really in love with Sally Ann. I think she accepted him because she didn't have better options, and because he was good at showing her what she wanted to see. I don't know how consciously he chose Sally Ann. Maybe he just found she was easy to persuade, easy to manipulate, not too demanding, and she was normal.

She was terribly shy i'm sure if she'd had more self-esteem and confidence she'd have had better options as you put it. She settled for a good looking guy who promised her stability and a family, in return not being demanding . I'm sure she wasn't aware of that trade-off. It would be interesting to see a one off episode to see how she's dealing and it would be lovely to have her receive the help and support she needed.

@WizardsMug said:

@write2topcat said:

He wanted a normal family, something he never had. But I don't think he was ever really in love with Sally Ann. I think she accepted him because she didn't have better options, and because he was good at showing her what she wanted to see. I don't know how consciously he chose Sally Ann. Maybe he just found she was easy to persuade, easy to manipulate, not too demanding, and she was normal.

She was terribly shy i'm sure if she'd had more self-esteem and confidence she'd have had better options as you put it. She settled for a good looking guy who promised her stability and a family, in return not being demanding . I'm sure she wasn't aware of that trade-off. It would be interesting to see a one off episode to see how she's dealing and it would be lovely to have her receive the help and support she needed.

Yeah, I don't think she was aware about him at all. Specter was a sociopath. People like him are good at showing others what they want to see. He even made some comments to that effect at one point I think. They are good at manipulating others because of that. They study the normals and learn to mimic them. Narcissists are brilliant at this. They lack the normal feelings of empathy which most of us have. Specter was a bit different from them though. He did have some genuine feelings, but only for children or certain others. He was very good at portraying himself as normal, but it was a front. Sally Ann saw what he showed her. And Specter really did want to have that normal life.

But that is why I think he didn't really love her. She was a means to an end. She allowed him to play normal. When they showed him making love to her, there was no passion from him. Of course we were not shown the two of them when they first met so we don't know exactly how he acted then. But I can't imagine that his personality could have changed very much. He was likely always very reserved, and guarded. I guess Sally Ann just figured that he was a quiet person. That may have been a plus for her, something she liked in him. She was more expressive emotionally of course. But as long as he would give enough indications of affection she was satisfied that it was just his nature to be reserved. I think that is about how it was. He kept his sickness hidden from her and everyone else. And he was good with the kids. She didn't have a clue about how damaged he was. Starting out she probably felt she had found a good one, a good man. She couldn't believe it when she found out what he was really like.