Young Chris tries to buy his middle school girlfriend an anniversary present. Blaine shows up early for a party. By like 8 days. || Audio from The Rooster Teeth Podcast #325.

Burnie recalls the story of when his college friends kidnapped the Texas A&M mascot, and the ensuing manhunt which followed. || Audio from The Rooster Teeth Podcast #250.

Miles talks about a weird dad (not his) who maybe used to kill people..? || Audio from The Rooster Teeth Podcast #351.

Geoff has another unsuccessful sex dream, this time with Jenny Slate. Maybe it's a thing with Jenny's? || Audio from Let's Play Minecraft #184.

After encountering a dog whose job is to sniff for food, Burnie wonders how cushy a job that dog must have compared to other dog jobs. I just like saying dog job over and over. Dog job. || Audio from RT Podcast #354

Josh comes across a very... forward stripper with a German accent and can't get away. She should hang out with Darque Chocolate. || Audio from RT Podcast #353

Miles goes on a date, and things are going well, until he screws it up by switching two words. Audio from Sponsor Play - The Evil Within Part 5.

Geoff tells the story about how one time he hit a deer and had no idea what to do. Then somehow makes the situation even worse.

Audio from Off Topic Podcast #8

Josh talks about his awesome threesome he had, and how it quickly became not that awesome. Spoiler alert: Poop is involved.

Audio from RT Podcast #353

Blaine recounts a tale of how he tried to be funny by farting on Gus and just embarrassed himself, and Burnie talks about the lengths Blaine will go to in order to get a girl to talk to him. Sad.

Audio from RT Podcast #361 Post Show

Joel struggles to prove his worth to both security and guardians at RTX Australia, but just can't seem to get into the building. Is he even the real Joel Heyman? How can we be sure?

Audio from RT Podcast #360

Geoff and Ryan recount some of their antics from back when they were bored teens living in lame southern towns. Geoff, as you can imagine, does some stuff that's way more screwed up.

Audio from Sunday Driving - How Muddy Do You Like It?

Burnie and Gavin stay at a nice Airbnb with a cool fireplace, but when they go to use it, Gavin realizes the landlord might have left something behind.

Audio from RT Podcast #362

In this edition of Gavin or Google, Burnie covers accidental furniture assembly, or possible cases of bestiality. Which stupid thing did Gavin say? Let's find out!

Audio from RT Podcast #226

This is the story all about how Geoff's life got flipped turned upside down. So I'd like to take a minute, lemme tell you what, this is exactly how Geoff got a dildo up his butt.

Audio from Sunday Driving in GTA V – The Married Life

Gavin and Lindsay play ABCs of storytelling, where he tries to save some hostages by acquiring some Care Bears for Lindsay.

Audio from What is a Fist Roast - On The Spot #45

Gus and Geoff go to a bar to get some daiquiris, and amuse themselves by starting a fight between two waitresses.

Audio from RT Podcast #290

Burnie discusses the rampant nonexistent dolphin poaching issue among the Rooster Teeth audience.

Audio from RT Podcast #364

Michael talks about how his neighbor's cat always comes to visit them, and Lindsay's obsession with being its friend despite the less-than-hygenic locations it frequents.

Audio from Off Topic Podcast #10

Gus and Burnie discuss the notion of a "best friend."; Geoff pranks his friend Frank by making Griffon pretend to be his girlfriend.

Audio from RT Podcast #355

The AH guys think about what they'd do if they had the Transformers element that transforms into anything. Not surprisingly, it mostly has to do with torturing Gavin.

Audio from Off Topic Podcast #9

Gavin and Geoff hypothesize what a world where your boners made sounds would be like. They also talk about the hottest cast member from the hit '90s sitcom Friends. Who is yours? Comment below.

Audio from Let's Build - Storm the Tower

Geoff confuses Millie about flip flops, Kerry wonders what a life in Japan would be like, and Chris talks about his master plan to become a Ninja Turtle.

Audio from Let's Build - Storm the Tower

Blaine scores with a girl who claims to be a virgin, but finds out later that maybe she was lying. Come to think of it, this is a weird story to tell, why did we animate this?

Audio from RT Podcast #366

While trying to film intros for the podcast, Gus pretends to poop in an alley, but accidentally fronts on a homeless dude's pooping turf and things get awkward.

Audio from RT Podcast #366

Michael spots a dude eating a bagel on his flight and quickly goes from coveting the man's bounty of bagel to being disgusted by the despicable state in which it ends up.

Audio from Off Topic Podcast #15

The intern makes a grave misstep while bringing food to the hungry podcast crew, and Gavin presents a third option to dealing with the remains of dead people: make them trees.

Audio from RT Podcast #366

This week, someone tries to guess Gus' race, Kyle and Miles ponder the certainties in life, and Burnie defends Superman's biggest weakness. Let's be real though, standing next to a rock making you lose your powers is pretty lame. Fight me, nerds.

Audio from RT Podcast #363 #365

Miles goes on a zombie run, but it turns out to be less of a run and more of a fall-on-your-ass for him. Embarrassing.

Audio from Sponsor Play - Alien Isolation, Part 7

Nick Rutherford and Kirk C. Johnson from Crunch Time pitch a movie about love, Ewoks, and Peter Dinklage that takes place on the moon of Endor. It's not very good, but Crunch Time is!

Audio from On the Spot #67.

Gus regales the gang with a ghost story from some friends of his back in college. Being a ghost can be difficult when you don't like the dark.

Audio from RT Podcast #365.

A collection of dumb little stories ranging from bombs hitting Austin (and how to avoid them), nicknames for potatoes, and horrible, crappy, worthless stickers.

Audio from RT Podcast #355 and #302

Miles feels cheated when a popular kid at school rips a hearty fart and doesn't get made fun of like any other lower class person would. Popular kids suck.

Audio from Sponsor Play - Metal Gear Solid V: Part 1

In one of the more peculiar "what if" scenarios, Geoff presents a scenario where Gavin can save his family from dying of cancer but only if he... Well, you can see for yourself, I'm not typing that out.

Audio from Let's Build - Snowbound Part 2

Burnie and Matt go on a business lunch with a guy, who, for some unknown reason, starts eating edamame husks out of the discard bowl. Maybe it's some kind of power play? I dunno, but it would gross me out, that's for sure.

Audio from Rooster Teeth Podcast #367

The gang imagines what they would do if they suddenly had a billion dollars. Would they give it away? Would they stuff it down their pants and walk around? Find out!

Audio from Rooster Teeth Podcast #358

Burnie talks about how his kid loved to dress up as something scary for Halloween, and how one time he managed to scare the crap out of another kid, further proving that Superman might be the lamest superhero ever.

Everyone loves bars, especially stories about bars! Burnie tells us about the time Matt was pretty oblivious about going to a gay bar, and about a friend who just loved getting into bar fights. Crazy kids!

It's the 250th RTAA episode! As is tradition, we did a weird thing instead of the usual business. This time the gang gets together to make some beautiful music while also making obscure references to the show. Thanks for watching 250 of these things!

Yeah, it's another one of these things. At this point we're probably just enabling Barbara to make more puns, so feel free to grab some pitchforks and torches and form a mob of some kind. Bring it.

Chris does his best to explain (and defend) his method of cooking fish. It's gross, sure, but mostly just really confusing.

Burnie fears what he does not understand, as evidenced by his anger towards NASA's ability to describe planets hundreds of lightyears away. Or maybe he's actually right and they're just making it all up. Either way he goes on a rant and it's funny!

On his 21st birthday, Miles dives in head first into the world of gettin' CRUNK. Which is to say his friend buys him shots. Then Kyle tries to get Miles into a car, and he is NOT having it.

Gus gets hammered at a showing of Bewitched, leading him to berate other members of the audience who liked it; and our good friend Brandon tries to call out a guy for using his phone during a movie and almost gets beat up for it.

The guys talk about the old rumor surrounding Surge and what it may or may not do to one's penis; Burnie tries to remember things about Harry Potter; Gus has a dream about Burnie trying to kill the office cleaning lady (or is it?).

Audio from

RT Podcast #356

RT Podcast #370

RT Podcast #368

Directed by Jordan Cwierz

Animated by Gabe Silva, Johnathan Floyd, and Beth Mackenzie

Chris goes on a blind date with a woman who turns out to be a little older than expected. Also she doesn't know New Zealand is its own country.

Chris goes on a blind date with a woman who turns out to be a little older than expected. Also she doesn't know New Zealand is its own country.

Audio from RT Podcast #380