Moe becomes depressed and decides to return to bartending school so he can re-evaluate himself. He meets an old teacher, who suggests that Moe try improving his bar, which might make him happier. Moe takes the advice, and turns his bar into a trendy nightclub, which does not sit well with his regular customers Homer, Lenny, Carl, and Barney.

Homer starts a security company with Lenny and Carl after the police are ineffective during a blackout, and eventually Mayor Quimby decides to have them replace the police. Homer finds that he excels at the job, but then he runs afoul of mob boss Fat Tony, who threatens Homer with death unless he leaves town.

Homer decides to try for a promotion at Springfield Nuclear Power Plant and suggests several ideas to Mr. Burns, all of which are rejected. One night, Homer overhears Burns admit that the plant's real owner is a canary to protect Burns from responsibility for any wrongdoing by the power plant. Homer releases the bird and tells Burns that nuclear inspectors have arrived for a surprise inspection. Burns, desperate to find a scapegoat, names Homer the new owner. As his first act, Homer fires Burns and takes control of the Plant. However, he finds that his work life as a CEO is conflicting with his family life. Homer decides to return to his old job and gives ownership back to Burns.

In this loose parody of the musical/movie Evita, Lisa is elected Student Body president, but is unaware that the school staff is using her for their own devices and as a scapegoat if something goes wrong.

Selma has a severe hot flash while giving Mr. Burns his driving test. Dr. Hibbert explains that Selma is experiencing the onset of menopause. Selma, decides she wants a baby rather than grow old alone. Adoption is suggested, but the Springfield orphanage is empty. Lisa suggests adopting a baby girl from China - but when the Chinese government only allows married couples to adopt, Selma writes down Homer's name as her husband.

The family is at a church fund-raiser, where Homer tries to ensure his rubber duck onto victory, but Flanders wins the big prize, which he doesn’t want and gives it to Marge. In return Marge agrees to watch Rod and Todd while Ned is attending a left-handed convention. While Marge is spending all her time with the Rod and Todd and trying to let them learn how to be boys; Homer takes Bart and Lisa to a home for former celebrity animals and a monkey kidnaps Bart. Marge’s ability to be a mother comes into question when Ned discovers what she is doing with his boys and the local news covers Bart’s current predicament.

Marge is held hostage during a bank robbery and forms an uneasy bond with one of the thieves before he's taken to prison.