Victor Meldrew, 60 years old, is at last retiring from the rigors of his security guard job at Watson-Mycroft. Replaced by a talking machine, Victor soon discovers that retirement will give him just as many reasons to be grumpy.

As retirement throws more problems for Victor Meldrew's retirement, including a next-door neighbour's noisy party, a disturbing and puzzling rash and an atheist funeral, has Victor bitten the bullett?

After being mugged whilst photographing badgers, and having his house sprayed with the phrase 'The Man Who Lives Here Is A Turd', Victor decides to hold a crime prevention meeting.

After being stuck in the shed for over three hours, then forced to spend an entire day with his eyes closed after a visit to the optometrist, Victor cannot bear the trials of babysitting.

Although Margaret is glad that Victor finally has a hobby to occupy his time, she is less pleased to discover that it involves painting nudes.