Dan is surprised when Elise's parents invite him to their family Thanksgiving, but soon swears revenge when he learns that they only want to steal his secret family recipe for deviled eggs.

When Dan and Chris land jobs at the mall's Christmas display, Dan vows revenge on a curmudgeonly Mall Santa who despises Christmas. Meanwhile, Elise is assigned by the secret agency to take down the assassin under the codename of "The Snowman".

Dan fears his new neighbors are cannibals plotting to eat him, so he tries to run them out of town.

After Dan's bank raises their ATM fees, Dan enlists Chris and Elise to help him pull off a heist to reclaim his money.

Dan, Chris and Elise try to get rid of the monster that Dan accidentally summons from beneath his bed.

Chris shirks his responsibilities to go golfing with his boss Mr. Bambridge, so Dan and Elise team up to put an end to his new hobby.

Dan gets tricked into signing up for a long-term gym membership, and while fighting it, uncovers an alarming conspiracy.

As they sit in a jail cell, Chris and Dan reminisce about Dan's past attempts to sabotage Chris' relationship with Elise.

Dan's cat, Mr. Mumbles goes missing drawing him into a thriller and the arms of a captivating, mysterious woman.

A rampaging dinosaur destroys Dan's car, so he and Chris partner up with a croc hunter.

Dan seeks out the Governor for revenge for America's sinking I.Q.

Dan plots to end the persistant phone calls of a telemarketer, but is soon surprised to find out he knows the caller.

Dan tries to ruin Reality TV after he's humiliated by a producer named Buddy Starr, but he still wants to win the trip to Astronaut Sleepaway Camp.

Displays of poor parenting motivates Dan to adopt a child of his own to prove he could be a terrific dad.

Dan wants to drive a new superstore out of business, because it's hurting his favorite stores and encouraging Chris to purchase too many items in bulk.

Dan and Chris battle over a piece of sci-fi film memorabilia that may destroy their friendship.

Dan goes to a low quality dude ranch where he discovers he can't get a refund.