Steve and Becky are doing their usual thing—staying in bed and just about to have sex. Their plans are scuppered, however, when Laura turns up panicking because her fiancé Paul has stayed out all night. Steve just wants Laura to leave but has to cover for Paul. And neighbour Dan wants to get melons. And eat them with spoons.

It’s Steve’s birthday and everyone wants to go out and get plastered—except Steve. He’s ill in bed. Or at least he tells his mum and everyone else he is. When Becky, Laura, Shelly and Paul can't persuade him to go out and celebrate, Steve stays in and—with a little help from Dan—makes very good use of his presents.

Steve and Becky have to go to the party. They don’t want to. Becky dithers over a spot on her chin. Steve can’t get through to his bank. But when a furious Paul comes over to see why they’re so late, and what’s happened to the sausage rolls, it seems they have no option but to go.

Everyone is trying to watch the match between two local teams. Except Steve that is, who’s bothered by a dream he had about Becky and her ex. And Laura, who's bored. And Paul, who is miserable after his mum’s shocking news. The afternoon couldn’t really be going worse until Steve comes out with what appears to be a racist comment.

Steve and Becky are drunk and arguing. They storm back into the flat, soon followed by their even drunker friends and Jamie, Becky’s oldest friend. While everyone drinks Steve’s drinks and eats all his food, Steve tries in vain to deal with Becky and her close friendship with Jamie.