The tooth fairy has visited Cartman, leaving him two dollars. He rushes to the bus stop to share his news with the others. He then unveils his latest plan. If all they all combined their lost teeth, the tooth fairy will provide them with enough cash to purchase a Sega Dreamcast. They soon find out that they are treading on someone else's territory. Now they have to work with the mobsters to keep their manhood.

The kids have just won a sledding race. Token says that the only reason they won is because of Eric's fat ass. The girls challenge the boys to a sledding race down Phil Collins Hill. Token says that the boys can't lose thanks to Eric's fat ass. Eric then tosses a rock into the side of Token's head. The FBI claim that this was a hate crime and Cartman is sent to jail. Can the other boys bust Cartman out in time for the big race?

There's something wrong with new student Timmy. About the only thing Timmy can do is say his name. Ignorant of the fact that Timmy is "retarded", he is "diagnosed" with ADD, which relieves him of the responsibility to do any homework. Soon the rest of the class manages to get diagnosed with ADD, and all get prescribed Ritalin. Everyone is on Ritalin and just complacent enough to sit through a Phil Collins show.

The boys discover 8-year-old contorting quintuplets from Romania. Cartman decides to stage his own performance. The quintuplets and their grandmother defect from Romania and wind up staying at the Marsh's home. Thanks to Grandpa Marsh the girls' grandmother gets "loved to death." The girl's father is brought in by the Romanian government to demand his daughters back, Janet Reno to the rescue!

Cartman decides to seek the friendship of older men. Using the Internet, he makes a connection with men who love to hang out with little boys. An organization called NAMBLA (North American Man Boy Love Association) holds a meeting in South Park and Cartman becomes their poster child. The boys learn how much an adult can really love a child.

Kyle needs a kidney transplant and Cartman is a perfect donor. Cartman has a $10 million price for his kidney. The other boys go to Cartman's house with the plan to take one of his kidneys. Cartman thwarts their plan. Stan, depressed about the inevitable loss of his friend decides to take action into his own hands and with the help of the parents gets Cartman's kidney for Kyle.

Chef is declaring that South Park's flag is racist. Stan & Kyle head up the team championing the current flag, while Wendy and Cartman head up the side for a new flag. Wendy ends up confessing to Bebe of her attraction to Cartman. The debate starts, but before Wendy can make her point, she kisses Cartman to regain her composure. Chef realizes that Stan & Kyle's point of view on the flag issue was colorblind.

"Fingerbang" is the latest boy band starring the four boys. Randy Marsh is against Stan's participation in any boy band for dark reasons. The boys land a gig at the local mall when it is threatened because there are only 4 members in the band. Stan arrives and the group is set to perform when suddenly the mall elevator tragically crushes Kenny. A former boy band member steps into the spotlight to save the gig.

The boys attend church and the priest puts the fear of hell in them. They must go to Sunday school and learn that they must confess their sins. The boys are worried about Timmy, after all, he can only say his name. Feeling the need to confess their sins they catch the priest in a compromising position and decide to save themselves.

Cartman preaches and the children begin plans to build a church. Satan spends the night with Saddam. Kenny wasn't killed in the previous episode, but the bus that ran him over stops in Mexico, where Kenny is found. Satan, in his time of crisis turns to God for advice. Cartman is discovered as a fraud and is sent to Mexico for punishment.

The kids have to face the 4th grade, and they're not too happy about it. Cartman cooks up a scheme to go back in time to return to the 3rd grade where things were fun and easy. Two geeks help them rig Timmy's wheelchair into a working time machine and send Timmy on the trip of his life!

Cartman has a new Trapper Keeper (that blows Kyle's out of the water) After he's done bragging, a stranger tells him that it will soon take over the world if they don't destroy it now. Cool 2001: A Space Odyssey and Akira parodies!

The boys are doing their version of the Helen Keller Story and plan to beat the kindergartners show. Timmy stars as Helen Keller and gets a new friend to play with! Fireworks, fountains, and outstanding musicals galore!

This is the story of Pip's origin. Pip gets a job at the Havesham Estate where he meets Estella. She only spurns his optimism with insults. When Pip is offered the opportunity to become a gentleman he goes to London only to discover that Miss Havesham plans to break his heart. Her plan is to use Pip's tears to power her Genesis device and will allow her to gain revenge on all men.

Mrs. Cartman holds an intervention for her son's eating problem and is sending him to fat camp. Cartman returns from camp, 40 lbs. lighter. Cartman is selling candy to the fat kids. Kenny is challenged by the other children to do crazy things for money. Kenny's popularity rises and he soon gets his own TV show. An event happens where Kenny gets inside Ms. Crabtree's uterus for six hours.

The "Raging Pussies" concert is on! Kyle calls the police and say his parents have been "molestering" him. Soon all the children are calling in on all the adults in South Park. Until only children live in South Park. Someone from out of town breaks down and they have the task of retrieving a book for the fat-ass. The locked-up adults of South Park get therapy to prevent them from sexually abusing their children.

Kyle and Ike anxiously await Mr. Hankey. When he doesn't show, Kyle calls the others for a late night emergency meeting. They find Mr. Hankey living with his alcoholic wife and their three little nuggets. He tells them that no one is into Christmas. They all decide to try and spread some Christmas cheer. Their effort fails and the boys decide to create an animated special of their own. Featuring Jesus, Santa Claus and themselves.

The you-know-what hits the fan 162 times when the citizens of South Park hear the word "Sh*t" on the popular show, "Cop Drama." Boffo ratings have the executives at HBC plotting further use of the curse word, as the nation is struck by a mysterious plague that unleashes the ancient Knights of Standards and Practices. Only Chef and the boys can save South Park, and the world!

Big Gay Al returns to South Park, only to be thrown out as Scoutmaster to the boys for being gay. The boys rally to his defense, with the help of the new "handi-capable" kid, Jimmy. But there's only room for one crippled kid in South Park, so Timmy and Jimmy throw off the gloves, as well as the crutches and wheelchair, in an all out slugfest to end all slugfests.

Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny discover David Blaine, magician and Cult Leader. Stan finds out early that the Blainiacs are not as nice as they thought. Stan has to convince Kyle, Kenny and Cartman that they've been brainwashed... but will he get to them in time? Jesus has a few tricks up his sleeve! Super Best Friends to the rescue!

Cartman goes medieval on Scott Tenorman's ass when ginger-haired Scott tricks our supple hero into buying his pubic hair for $16.12. Radiohead guest stars and plays a role in Cartman's elaborate scheme at getting sweet revenge on his unsuspecting foe.

In the grand tradition of Wham UK, flatulant Canadian superstars, Terrance and Phillip, have broken up over creative differences. The clock is ticking as the boys struggle to reunite the fartastic duo, and recruit them in time for South Park's Earth Day festivities.

Cartman inherits one million dollars from his grandmother, fulfilling his lifelong dream of owning his own amusement park, Cartmanland! A hemorrhoid erupts in Kyle's ass when he learns of Cartman's undeserved fortune, making him question the very existence of God, and whether there's a reason to stay alive in a world where someone like Cartman is happy.

Thanks to Stan's "handy" work, the children of South Park must endure sex education from the unlikely duo of Mr. Mackey and Ms. Choksondik. While the two adults take their lessons to heart, the children are left frightened, mis-informed, and armed for battle against the opposite sex. Much hilarity ensues.

The boys get a new video game system and their plans for the next 38 hours is to play it! Untill they discover Towelie, a government secret, genetically engineered towel that gets his special powers from gettin' high. When the government steals Stan's new Game Sphere the boys will stop at nothing to get it back. Losing precious gaming time they find Towelie and begin the struggle of the century.

In the wake of the terrorist attack on the United States, the boys find themselves accidentally sent to Afghanistan, where they encounter their Afghani counterparts and try to understand why they hate Americans. While they are there they also take on the Taliban and Cartman pits his fat ass against Bin Laden himself.

Cartman has finally gone too far when a prank involving Kenny's sweet cheeks results in him blowing a "funny fuse." After a photo of Kenny's better side finds it's way onto the side of a milk carton, an unusual couple arrives in South Park to claim their missing child. Much ass kissing ensues.

Kyle’s cousin comes to town and after Kyle sees how stereotypically Jewish his cousin Kyle is, he worries about how Cartman is going to react when he meets him. Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison invents an alternative form of transportation that requires the rider to use more than just their hands and legs to control it.

Feeling like an outcast for being the only rich kid in town, Token succeeds in attracting several other wealthy people to South Park. Meanwhile, the townspeople, fearing that their little hamlet is rapidly going up the drain, attempt to run the new residents out of town by any means necessary.

In a very special episode of South Park, Cartman fights for Kenny's life when he speaks before Congress in favor of stem cell research. Meanwhile, Stan has trouble dealing with his friend's impending demise.

Butters finds out what his father has been up to late at night and when his mother hears, she overreacts by trying to kill her son and then herself back at home. After returning home and forgiving her husband, she realizes what she has done to her son and they spin a story to the media to cover their tracks. Meanwhile, Butters obsesses with returning home so that he can join his parents for an anniversary dinner at Bennigan’s.

The boys decide to fatten up Butters so that he can lose weight by eating at their favorite restaurant just like Jared, the sub sandwich guy. Jared, who is making an appearance in town reveals another secret to his weight loss, he has aides.

With their parents stuck in Time Share Hell, our boys are on their own on the slopes of Aspen, circa 1985. Stan gets challenged to a ski race and must win in order to save the youth center, get the girl, and free the trapped spirits of the Wakacha Vampire Indians. Not that he really cares.

The boys learn that disfigured people get prizes for appearing on a talk show and they sign Butters up. When the prize he gets can’t be shared, Cartman has his mother join him on a segment called, "Please Help My out of Control Child."

The boys learn where veal comes from and they decide to save the calves by hiding them in Stan’s room, where they all intend to stay until the calves are guaranteed their safety. During the siege Stan develops symptoms of an illness caused by his new vegan diet.

The boys have to sit through "The Russell Crowe Show" in order to see the premiere of the trailer for the new Terrance and Phillip movie. Meanwhile, Chef’s new TV has taken on a life of its own.

Butters isn’t working out and Cartman, Kyle and Stan decide to fire him and hold auditions for his replacement. Becoming an outcast, Butters becomes a super-villain with plans to cause chaos wherever he goes.

Professor Chaos returns with brand new, super evil, schemes to wreak havoc on South Park; unfortunately, the Simpsons have already done them all. Meanwhile, a super secret ingredient helps Cartman's "Sea People" evolve at an alarming rate.

Father Maxi is concerned with all the molestation claims that have been placed against the Catholic Church recently. After most of his parishioners turn to Atheism as an answer, he travels to the Vatican to get some answers.

The boys go out to see the new edition of Star Wars: Episode V and during the previews they find out that the movie studios are planning on re-releasing more movies with digitally enhanced effects. In an effort to stop this injustice, they go off to find Steven Spielberg and George Lucas.

After nearly five years and 89 episodes, it finally happens: Cartman gets kicked out of the gang. The reason? Bebe gets boobs and the boys go ape, threatening their friendships and society as we know it.

In an effort to protect their children from kidnappers, the parents of South Park hire the owner and operator of the local City Wok to build a Great Wall around the city. When crazy things like Kid trackers and Mongolions come into the picture. The parents learn a very important lesson themselves about trusting strangers.

Stan, Kyle, and Cartman win all the candy they can eat in a contest. There's just one problem, Kenny had the ticket. Now to get their prize, the boys have decided to build a ladder to Heaven in order to get the ticket back from their dead friend.

The boys are on a mission: return "The Lord of the Rings" to the Two Towers Video Store in Conifer. But this is no ordinary copy. Butters, the evil sixth graders, and the boys' parents all try to steal the ring, er tape, from the boys. Will they succeed?

A loveable new character, Mr Slave, makes his debut as Mr. Garrison desperately tries to get fired from his new job as the boys' 4th grade teacher. Meanwhile, the boys get sent to the Deathcamp of Intolerance for not tolerating Mr. Garrison's intolerable behavior.

When a famous psychic fails to help him exorcise Kenny from his body, Cartman takes other steps to achieve his goal. He and Chef travel to the moors of Scotland, where Chef's mom tries a little of her voodoo magic on him. Meanwhile, after the boys encounter with the TV psychic, Kyle is paralyzed with fear at the thought of members of the spirit world watching over him. Only by debunking those who claim they can communicate with the dead can Stan save Kyle.

When a 32 year old man claiming to be Stan from the future shows up in South Park, young Stan is forced to come to terms with the loser he will become. Meanwhile, South Park's own little entrepreneur, Eric Cartman is at the helm a new money making venture. Cartman is in the business of revenge.

In an effort to redeem himself days before Christmas, Cartman decides to bring Christmas to the Iraqis. So, along with Stan, Kyle, and Kenny they catch a ride with Mr. Hankey to the North Pole to bring Christmas to Iraq.