The you-know-what hits the fan 162 times when the citizens of South Park hear the word "Sh*t" on the popular show, "Cop Drama." Boffo ratings have the executives at HBC plotting further use of the curse word, as the nation is struck by a mysterious plague that unleashes the ancient Knights of Standards and Practices. Only Chef and the boys can save South Park, and the world!

Big Gay Al returns to South Park, only to be thrown out as Scoutmaster to the boys for being gay. The boys rally to his defense, with the help of the new "handi-capable" kid, Jimmy. But there's only room for one crippled kid in South Park, so Timmy and Jimmy throw off the gloves, as well as the crutches and wheelchair, in an all out slugfest to end all slugfests.

Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny discover David Blaine, magician and Cult Leader. Stan finds out early that the Blainiacs are not as nice as they thought. Stan has to convince Kyle, Kenny and Cartman that they've been brainwashed... but will he get to them in time? Jesus has a few tricks up his sleeve! Super Best Friends to the rescue!

Cartman goes medieval on Scott Tenorman's ass when ginger-haired Scott tricks our supple hero into buying his pubic hair for $16.12. Radiohead guest stars and plays a role in Cartman's elaborate scheme at getting sweet revenge on his unsuspecting foe.

In the grand tradition of Wham UK, flatulant Canadian superstars, Terrance and Phillip, have broken up over creative differences. The clock is ticking as the boys struggle to reunite the fartastic duo, and recruit them in time for South Park's Earth Day festivities.

Cartman inherits one million dollars from his grandmother, fulfilling his lifelong dream of owning his own amusement park, Cartmanland! A hemorrhoid erupts in Kyle's ass when he learns of Cartman's undeserved fortune, making him question the very existence of God, and whether there's a reason to stay alive in a world where someone like Cartman is happy.

Thanks to Stan's "handy" work, the children of South Park must endure sex education from the unlikely duo of Mr. Mackey and Ms. Choksondik. While the two adults take their lessons to heart, the children are left frightened, mis-informed, and armed for battle against the opposite sex. Much hilarity ensues.

The boys get a new video game system and their plans for the next 38 hours is to play it! Untill they discover Towelie, a government secret, genetically engineered towel that gets his special powers from gettin' high. When the government steals Stan's new Game Sphere the boys will stop at nothing to get it back. Losing precious gaming time they find Towelie and begin the struggle of the century.

In the wake of the terrorist attack on the United States, the boys find themselves accidentally sent to Afghanistan, where they encounter their Afghani counterparts and try to understand why they hate Americans. While they are there they also take on the Taliban and Cartman pits his fat ass against Bin Laden himself.

Cartman has finally gone too far when a prank involving Kenny's sweet cheeks results in him blowing a "funny fuse." After a photo of Kenny's better side finds it's way onto the side of a milk carton, an unusual couple arrives in South Park to claim their missing child. Much ass kissing ensues.

Kyle’s cousin comes to town and after Kyle sees how stereotypically Jewish his cousin Kyle is, he worries about how Cartman is going to react when he meets him. Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison invents an alternative form of transportation that requires the rider to use more than just their hands and legs to control it.

Feeling like an outcast for being the only rich kid in town, Token succeeds in attracting several other wealthy people to South Park. Meanwhile, the townspeople, fearing that their little hamlet is rapidly going up the drain, attempt to run the new residents out of town by any means necessary.

In a very special episode of South Park, Cartman fights for Kenny's life when he speaks before Congress in favor of stem cell research. Meanwhile, Stan has trouble dealing with his friend's impending demise.

Butters finds out what his father has been up to late at night and when his mother hears, she overreacts by trying to kill her son and then herself back at home. After returning home and forgiving her husband, she realizes what she has done to her son and they spin a story to the media to cover their tracks. Meanwhile, Butters obsesses with returning home so that he can join his parents for an anniversary dinner at Bennigan’s.

The boys decide to fatten up Butters so that he can lose weight by eating at their favorite restaurant just like Jared, the sub sandwich guy. Jared, who is making an appearance in town reveals another secret to his weight loss, he has aides.

With their parents stuck in Time Share Hell, our boys are on their own on the slopes of Aspen, circa 1985. Stan gets challenged to a ski race and must win in order to save the youth center, get the girl, and free the trapped spirits of the Wakacha Vampire Indians. Not that he really cares.

The boys learn that disfigured people get prizes for appearing on a talk show and they sign Butters up. When the prize he gets can’t be shared, Cartman has his mother join him on a segment called, "Please Help My out of Control Child."

The boys learn where veal comes from and they decide to save the calves by hiding them in Stan’s room, where they all intend to stay until the calves are guaranteed their safety. During the siege Stan develops symptoms of an illness caused by his new vegan diet.

The boys have to sit through "The Russell Crowe Show" in order to see the premiere of the trailer for the new Terrance and Phillip movie. Meanwhile, Chef’s new TV has taken on a life of its own.

Butters isn’t working out and Cartman, Kyle and Stan decide to fire him and hold auditions for his replacement. Becoming an outcast, Butters becomes a super-villain with plans to cause chaos wherever he goes.

Professor Chaos returns with brand new, super evil, schemes to wreak havoc on South Park; unfortunately, the Simpsons have already done them all. Meanwhile, a super secret ingredient helps Cartman's "Sea People" evolve at an alarming rate.

Father Maxi is concerned with all the molestation claims that have been placed against the Catholic Church recently. After most of his parishioners turn to Atheism as an answer, he travels to the Vatican to get some answers.

The boys go out to see the new edition of Star Wars: Episode V and during the previews they find out that the movie studios are planning on re-releasing more movies with digitally enhanced effects. In an effort to stop this injustice, they go off to find Steven Spielberg and George Lucas.

After nearly five years and 89 episodes, it finally happens: Cartman gets kicked out of the gang. The reason? Bebe gets boobs and the boys go ape, threatening their friendships and society as we know it.

In an effort to protect their children from kidnappers, the parents of South Park hire the owner and operator of the local City Wok to build a Great Wall around the city. When crazy things like Kid trackers and Mongolions come into the picture. The parents learn a very important lesson themselves about trusting strangers.

Stan, Kyle, and Cartman win all the candy they can eat in a contest. There's just one problem, Kenny had the ticket. Now to get their prize, the boys have decided to build a ladder to Heaven in order to get the ticket back from their dead friend.

The boys are on a mission: return "The Lord of the Rings" to the Two Towers Video Store in Conifer. But this is no ordinary copy. Butters, the evil sixth graders, and the boys' parents all try to steal the ring, er tape, from the boys. Will they succeed?

A loveable new character, Mr Slave, makes his debut as Mr. Garrison desperately tries to get fired from his new job as the boys' 4th grade teacher. Meanwhile, the boys get sent to the Deathcamp of Intolerance for not tolerating Mr. Garrison's intolerable behavior.

When a famous psychic fails to help him exorcise Kenny from his body, Cartman takes other steps to achieve his goal. He and Chef travel to the moors of Scotland, where Chef's mom tries a little of her voodoo magic on him. Meanwhile, after the boys encounter with the TV psychic, Kyle is paralyzed with fear at the thought of members of the spirit world watching over him. Only by debunking those who claim they can communicate with the dead can Stan save Kyle.

When a 32 year old man claiming to be Stan from the future shows up in South Park, young Stan is forced to come to terms with the loser he will become. Meanwhile, South Park's own little entrepreneur, Eric Cartman is at the helm a new money making venture. Cartman is in the business of revenge.

In an effort to redeem himself days before Christmas, Cartman decides to bring Christmas to the Iraqis. So, along with Stan, Kyle, and Kenny they catch a ride with Mr. Hankey to the North Pole to bring Christmas to Iraq.

The boys are at the bus stop and they seem to be reliving events that they went through 6 seasons earlier; that is Kyle "kicking the baby" his little brother Ike and Cartman talking about his strange dream, which the other boys identify as visitors. What's going on in South Park? Did the boys travel back in time, or is some sinister force at work?

Jimmy is tired of the entire town talking about how great that "butthole" Christopher Reeve is. Jimmy and Timmy decide the only real "crips" are those who were crippled from birth. They then decide to seek out a gang with similar feelings. It's safe to say Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny are staying out of this one.

The boys are given a detention due to their attitudes in art class. Cartman decides that they need to toilet paper (TP) the art teacher's house in revenge.

After participating in a walk-out against the war in Iraq, Mr. Garrison tells the boys they have to write a report on the founding fathers. Cartman decides he's going to figure out a way to flashback to the past and learn all about history first hand.

For a report on Cultural Diversity, Cartman chooses to do one on Latinos in the arts with the help of a Jennifer Lopez hand puppet. Later, at the mall, the puppet insists they make a music video, which launches the hand puppet's musical career. There's just one problem, the REAL J-Lo shows up to protest the hand's authenticity.

The boys are playing "junior detectives," and have to find a kidnapped doll. After a daring rescue, they are taken back to Park County Police Headquarters. Upon their arrival, the Chief makes them "real" junior detectives and gives them their first assignment: breaking up a meth lab. The boys soon learn being real detectives isn't as fun as they thought.

The owners of the Three Feathers Indian Casino have decided to buy out the town of South Park in order to create a super-highway from Denver to their Casino. The townfolk only have one night to make $350,000. So they head to the casino...

The metrosexual fad has hit South Park thanks to the "Queer Eye Guys," and all the men in town are affected, except for Kyle and his Dad. Stan, Kenny, and Cartman give Kyle a makeover, and Gerald isn't far behind. Soon the women of South Park grow tired of the fad, as does Mr. Garrison.

The boys have hit a crossroads with their band "Moop." Cartman wants the band to play Christian Rock, and leaves the band when Stan, Kyle, and Kenny don't agree. Before leaving, Cartman bets Kyle $10 that he will get a platinum album with a Christian Rock band before "Moop" can.

Due to a rise in deaths due to senior citizens behind the wheel, the State of Colorado has revoked all the driver licenses of senior citizens. Soon after, the AARP shows up to fight for the rights of their comrades.

Kyle is going to Casa Bonita for his birthday, but he can only bring three friends. He chooses Stan, Kenny, and Butters. Cartman, outraged by not being chosen, comes up with a plan to take Butters out of the picture.

A new student, Gary Harrison, joins the 4th grade. Gary is a Mormon from Utah. The children decide he needs to get his ass kicked, and they choose Stan to do it. After an awkward exchange of words, Stan is invited to Gary's house, where he learns all about Mormons.

After seeing an auditorium presentation on the dangers of smoking (and in some ways, not smoking), the boys light up behind the school and are soon caught in the middle of Rob Reiner's Anti-Tobacco campaign.

In an effort to find some closure in breaking up with Wendy, the boys take Stan to Raisins (a junior Hooters) so he can forget about her. Meanwhile, a trip to Raisins does big things for Butters, as he falls in love with a waitress.

When Ike is claimed by his Canadian birth parents, the boys set out to gain an audience with the Canadian Prime Minister. Meanwhile, Cartman's biggest concern is that the boys don't spend all of Christmas in Canada.

South Park takes on the look of Japanese Anime. The boys are transformed into Japanese Warriors after they buy martial arts weapons at a local flea market. Their sworn enemy, Professor Chaos, confronts them and a highly stylized battle ensues.

Jimmy is in training for an upcoming sporting event and he’s determined to win at any cost. Cartman feels he can easily take first place against Jimmy. He just has to convince the qualifying committee he’s handicapped.

Kyle finally sees “The Passion” and is forced to admit Cartman has been right all along. Meanwhile many of the film’s hardcore fans band together under Cartman’s leadership to carry out it’s message.

It’s up to Stan to put a team of South Park’s best dancers together to compete against a rival troupe from Orange County. While Butters has won awards for his dancing, he refuses to help Stan out, as he hasn’t been able to dance since the tragic death of eight audience members at his last competition.

Cartman dresses up like a robot, calls himself AWESOM-O, and moves in with Butters. His plan is to learn all of Butter’s innermost secrets and then use them against him. While Butters is thrilled to have found a new best friend, the Army believes AWESOM-O is some new secret weapon, and Hollywood is after the phony robot to develop their next big blockbuster.

All the children of South Park are attracted to Mr. Jefferson, his son and their home filled with games, toys and animals. Cartman goes out of his way to get Mr. Jefferson to love him while the local police force resent him for being black and wealthy and decide bring him down.

Humans from the year 4035 are arriving in droves in South Park! Everything gets a little too crowded when people from the future arrive through a recently discovered time portal. When the boys try to earn some extra money, the time immigrants, who are willing to do the same work for next to nothing, take their jobs.

When PETA demonstrates against the use of a cow as South Park Elementary’s mascot, the student body is forced to choose a new one. As the election approaches, Kyle tries to convince everyone that his candidate, a giant douche, is better than Cartman’s nominee, a turd sandwich.

The streets of South Park are like a ghost-town when a giant Wall-Mart lures all the townspeople to the new store with its incredible bargains. Cartman becomes a boy possessed by the power of Wall-Mart and its low, low prices. In order to save their town, Stan and Kyle have to find a way to destroy the ever-expanding superstore while keeping Cartman from stabbing them in the back.

For five long years, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman and Butters have kept a secret about a horrible incident that happened back in pre-school. Now, the kid who took the fall for the group, Trent Boyett, is getting out of juvie and his first order of business is revenge.

The boys of South Park produce their own morning news show on the school’s closed-circuit television station and are immediately caught up in the intense competition for ratings.

All the fourth grade girls idolize a rich, famous and spoiled socialite. They even have her brand new toy set that comes complete with video camera, night vision filter, play money and losable cell phone. In an effort to impress their idol, the girls pursue the boys to make their own videos.

After sustaining a severe head injury, Cartman appears to have the power to see into the future. South Park detectives are quick to enlist his help in cracking unsolved murder cases and Cartman is more than willing to help, for a price. In the meantime, a group of licensed psychics cry foul when Cartman refuses to join their ranks.

Stan is approached by the forest critters and asked to help them build a manger in anticipation of the birth of their Lord and Savior. Stan complies, only to find out that they serve a very different Lord.

Mr. Garrison goes to great lengths to get what he’s always wanted…a sex change. As he enjoys his new womanly attributes, the rest of the town gets in touch with their inner feelings too. Meanwhile, Kyle wrestles with the fact that Jews just aren’t good at basketball.

Cartman seeks to rid the world of hippies once and for all.

As talent agents, Cartman, Stan, Kyle and Kenny can bank 10% of their client’s earnings. After they pool all their resources to impress their one and only client, another agency steals him away. Desperate to earn their money back, they take on another client with plans to launch her on a new reality show.

Kenny is the only one of his friends to get the newest, coolest portable gaming device and Cartman can’t deal with it. Will they remain best friends forever?

If the boys can lose just one baseball game, it gets them out of playing the boring sport for the entire summer.

Butters is freaked out when he thinks he can communicate with the dead. Although his parents have made it clear to him there are no such things as ghosts, Butters is sure one is haunting him. Butters knows he has to give up his ghost pal or be put into a mental institution.

All the kids are getting ready for the big South Park Elementary Talent Show and Jimmy can’t wait to perform his new comedy routines. But lately, just like generations of little boys before him, Jimmy’s noticed that one of his body parts has a mind of its own. Knowing he can’t get up in front of the entire school in an excited state, Jimmy must find a way to gain control of his raging hormones in time to perform in the show.

A global warming state of emergency is declared in South Park. The world’s largest beaver dam breaks and floods the adjacent town of Beaverton. As the victims wait for help to arrive, everyone in South Park tackles priority number one: who is to blame? Only Stan and Cartman know who’s really at fault.

The 4th grade girls are having a sleepover. It’s imperative that the boys find out what goes on behind those closed doors. Butters is picked to be the boy who must fake his death, become a girl and infiltrate this age-old feminine tradition.

Mrs. Garrison realizes he still has feelings for Mr. Slave. But, Mr. Slave has moved on. He plans to marry his new love as soon as the Governor signs the same-sex marriage bill. Mrs. Garrison leads the charge against gay marriage.

Cartman suffers from a mysterious and sudden on-set of the disease, Gingervitus. Sick and tired of being ripped-on because he now has red hair, light skin and freckles, he rallies all ginger kids everywhere to fight against discrimination.

Religious leaders recognize Stan as the second coming and a whole soap opera unfolds with the help of a famous R&B singer. The results of Stan’s personality test reveal that he’s depressed. While Stan looks to a new religion for answers, the church leaders recognize Stan as the second coming. Some A-List Hollywood celebrities join the faithful who have set up camp right in front of Stan’s house.

A “talking” whale inspires the fourth-graders to risk everything to return him to his family. With the police on their tails, the boys enlist the help of a foreign government and embark upon an adventure you’ll not soon forget. One in which the boys learn just how far you would go for a friend.

Stan is embarrassed in front of his friends when his dad gets pulled over for drunk driving. In a neighboring town, a bleeding statue of Mary is discovered and the faithful are flocking to the site hoping to be healed. Stan’s dad is sure the bleeding Virgin can cure him of his disease.

The town is excited when Chef returns to town after world traveling with the “Super Adventure Club,” but the boys notice something is different about Chef. It seems that Chef’s new sense of adventure has gotten the better of him and the boys try to save him.

Stan is the driving force who gets the citizens of South Park to all buy hybrid cars. Just as everyone starts to feel really good about what they’re doing to help save the earth, a stormy dark mass has started accumulating over the town.

Cartman and Kyle are at war over the popular cartoon, Family Guy. Kyle loves it and Cartman hates it. When the show airs some controversial content the boys go on a cross country chase with the fate of Family Guy lying with the first boy to reach Hollywood.

With Kyle left behind, Cartman makes his way to FOX to get the Family Guy episode pulled, hoping to ultimately get rid of the show once and for all.

Towelie writes a book and it gets selected for Oprah’s book club. It becomes a best seller with everyone getting a lot help for their addictions; until a faction of Oprah's staff leak the truth about the book.

While assisting an ex-Vice President in his quest for attention, the boys get trapped by a cave-in and while searching for a way out, Cartman discovers treasure. Now he has to figure out how to get out of the cave without the others knowing about it and he can keep it all for himself.

When Cartman's mom realizes she can't control her son anymore, she gets help from an expert. Cesar Millan, “The Dog Whisperer" takes on the challenge and while he might have what it takes, Eric Cartman's not going down without a fight.

A renegade player threatens the Massively Multiplayer Online game World of Warcraft and the fate of the game lay in the hands of Cartman, Kyle, Stan and Kenny.

Cartman reveals who masterminded the attacks of 9/11, while Kyle and Stan search for the real truth; meanwhile Mr. Mackey just wants to know who dropped the deuce in the urinal.

Cartman, South Park Elementary’s new hallway monitor, takes it personally when he finds out that a teacher has been kissing a student in his jurisdiction. He helps Kyle stop his little brother’s affair with his “Nice” hot teacher.

Satan is throwing the world's biggest Halloween costume party, and no one is getting in without a blue wrist band. Unfortunately, even Satan can't plan for everything as a religious organization and the antics of the most notorious serial killers of all time might ruin his good time.

The topic of evolution is introduced to the 4th graders of South Park Elementary and while their teacher is against the theory a change of mind has implications for the future. And speaking of the future, Cartman is trying to send himself there; to the exact date that the newest video game console, the Nintendo Wii is being released.

Last week, in an attempt to make his wait for the Wii instantaneous, Cartman froze himself. Through a bizarre twist of fate, he woke up 500 years in the future, where there are warring factions, some angry sea otters, and worst of all: No Nintendo Wii! Will Cartman get out of this crazy future? Or will he be doomed to never get his hands on the Wii?

Stan becomes coach of a Pee Wee Hockey team and for the benefit of one his players he tries to make them into a team of winners. Meanwhile his father deals with the memory of Stan’s performance in a Pee Wee hockey game from years earlier, when Stan had the opportunity to score the game winning goal.

Randy uses the "N" word on live TV and faces public ridicule for it and Stan tries to understand Token's feelings on the subject. Meanwhile, a little person visits South Park Elementary and Cartman can't stop himself from laughing at him.

Butters' dad sends him off to special camp to "Pray the Gay Away" when he believes that his son is bi-curious after catching him in a compromising position with Cartman. Meanwhile, Cartman does his best to retrieve a photo of him in that compromising position before too many people find out about it.

When a breakout of headlice hits South Park Elementary, Mrs. Garrison refuses to say which child brought the plague to the school. So, Cartman takes it upon himself to find out who it is so the kids can make fun of them. Meanwhile, a louse Travis, is desperate to save his fellow lice from imminent destruction from a conscious world.

The citizens of South Park are gearing up for the arrival of Hillary Clinton for a big campaign rally. Meanwhile, Cartman suspects that a new Muslim student is involved in a possible terrorist attack. Every minute counts for Cartman as he uses his own interrogation methods on his suspect. But could the plan to target Clinton be just the tip of the iceberg?

Stan wants to know the real reason kids have to decorate eggs for Easter, and what, if anything eggs and bunnies have to do with Jesus dying for his sins. To get to the bottom of it, Kyle and Stan get wrapped up in a bizarre society that guards a legendary secret.

Once again Ms. Garrison gets dumped, but this time she decides to take it out on her fourth grade class. When the boys have finally had enough of their teacher's erratic mood swings and excessive homework assignments, they find out that there are people-for-hire that can help out in any situation. Meanwhile, Ms. Garrison is finding life without men has its upsides.

The number of homeless people in South Park is increasing as they eat, sleep, and beg for change across the town. While the adults try to find creative solutions to deal with the homeless, the boys are trying to figure out a way to solve the problem for good

Upon discovering Tourette's syndrome, Cartman becomes mad with power. He finds out he has the ability to say whatever he wants without consequence, so he sets up National TV Coverage to take full advantage of his new found life.

Stan's dad becomes South Park's home-town hero when the guys down at the local bar see the size of his most recent crap. Randy contacts a society that keeps track of the world record, thinking his masterpiece would definitely be a contender.

When the entire contents of the world's imagination lay open before them, Stan and Kyle step right in. Back in South Park, Cartman swears he's seen a leprechaun.

Stan and Kyle are being held captive at the Pentagon until they tell the government exactly how they got into Imaginationland. Elsewhere, Cartman will not give up his quest to make Kyle follow through on their bet to suck his balls.

Inside Imaginationland, Stan and Butters engage in the battle of their lives as they fight the army of evil imaginary forces. Meanwhile, Cartman goes all the way to the Supreme Court to get Kyle to suck his balls.

Stan and Kyle become obsessed with Guitar Hero to the point where they're breaking high score records. It doesn't take long for Stan to realize that he could go even further with a different partner. Will the stress of being a rock star get to Stan now that his best friend is no longer by his side?

The girls in the fourth grade class have made a secret list that rates every boy's looks from cutest to ugliest. When the boys steal the list, they are completely unprepared to deal with the results.