Raph & Carolyn hold weights and wear a mouth prop for the entire episode. The traffic news blows up.

Carolyn ignores the weather to pitch her screenplay. Raph tells a starchy story about girl's sports.

Ryan Creamer & Trapp report on a saucy skating event. Elaine Carroll freestyle raps about Netflix.

Grant & Rekha talk hot topics & topical hotness. Ryan Creamer covers a bird birth at a Clippers game.

Grant & Raph report on rabies babies. Zac Oyama shows how many marshmallows can fit in his mouth.

Hulk Jr. improvises a eulogy and Shukri R. Abdi mimes her report on a live nuclear strike.

Shukri and Ally perform music for Brennan and Ryan to dance to.

Trapp & Katie read a riveting report from the office. The team shares their favorite Grant memories.

Local man Roger rants about snake socks. Brennan reports from a county fair that’s lost its bear.

Lily and Mano reveal that brains don't do anything. Carolyn lists off everything millennials have ever ruined.

Rekha tells a meaty maternal story about Trapp, and Brennan dives into Breaking News lore.

Straight from the Vatican, our news team report that God just fucking HATES actor John Lithgow.

Erika tries to understand the nuances of Mrs. Doubtfire while Brennan explains sin-based weather.

Kellen and Zac report on the truth behind hot dogs. Tao warns of a product recall on dildos.

The student news team at River View High School bring you the latest news on field trip tragedies.

A bunch of bugs bring you the latest in bug news. Buzz buzz!

Trapp tries to name the worst Brians while Brennan explains exactly how to talk to your neighbors.

The news crew report on the Wight Savior Country Musical Festival and how not to flirt.

Amy shows off some new dances. Brennan is a 12 year old trapped in an adult's body.

Patrick reveals he's Mrs. Butterworth's loving husband while Lily reports from inside your anus.

Ryan and Amy do the hot new dance craze that’s sweeping the nation.

Rekha and Becca reveal their actual experiences and opinions. Grant shows off his best impressions.

Zac talks about a hostage situation gone wrong, while Ally gets real about a missing persons case.

Carolyn reveals she never saw It: Chapter Two while Kellen reports on a group of arm-loving doctors.