Crummy gifts rile birthday gal Lois, who suddenly splits from home, leaving confusion, anxiety and desperation in her wake.

Reese, promising champion of his school's wrestling team, gets beaten by a girl, completely demoralizing him. So he gives up his school-bully carrier, which destabilizes the natural order of things at school. Francis tries to get out of academy at his birthday in an attempt to avoid academy-birthday-traditions.

Malcolm and Reese go to a bowling party where they vie for the attention of a cute girl.

Malcolm, Dewey, Stevie, and Reese hide out at a traveling carnival after hours and run afoul of a determined security guard and several members of the freak show.

Lois, in an attempt to get a break from the family, joins a book club that turns out to be a night off for frustrated housewives, but it all goes a little bit haywire. Meanwhile Francis tries to get to Alaska, learning something important about himself and about truck drivers. Hal, who tries to keep the boys out of troubles for the evening, is caught in an inner conflict about how to treat them.

The arrival of Francis's new bride on Hal's birthday sparks a fray that drives the younger siblings out---and into a posh hotel.

An embattled psychiatrist probes the boys' naughty behavior patterns in a session framed by flashbacks to past episodes.

Christopher Lloyd adds to his gallery of eccentric characters, playing Hal's quirky, cranky and very wealthy father, Walter, in this rollicking episode. The occasion is a birthday celebration for the old man, but the snooty female in-laws seem more interested in offending Lois. Their shabby behavior initially goes unnoticed by Hal, who's desperately trying to bond with his self-centered dad; and by Dewey and Reese, who seek some of Grampa's dough by currying favor with him. But when Lois is reduced to tears after being excluded from a group photo, the family rallies to her side with an all-out counterattack that turns the party into pandemonium.

After Lois is out of town, Malcolm and Hal got into a fight leading Malcolm to get expelled from his house. Malcolm lives with his girlfriend in her attic, as Hal put signs for "Missing Malcolm."

Hal and the boys offer to watch baby Jamie so an exhausted Lois can finally get some sleep. Hal leaves the boys in charge while he goes to the Lucky Aid to pick up more diapers. While the boys are watching Jamie, three beautiful teenage girls arrive and woo Malcolm, Reese and Stevie away for the night, leaving Dewey alone with the baby. Meanwhile at the Lucky Aid, Hal doesn't have enough money for the diapers and Craig forces him to work. Back at home, Dewey concocts an elaborate bedtime story for Jamie involving each member of his family.

Hal, Reese, Malcolm, and Dewey go into business selling Christmas trees, with the boys using some of their own money, but two priests send homeless people to their business, trying to sabotage their sale.

When Dewey's annual candy selling event for school comes up, he uses the excuse of "these bars help support america" to sell them. Malcolm and Stevie attempt a science experiment, and are shocked when Reese begs to help.

Hal and Lois, strapped for cash, decide that Christmas gifts will have to be homemade this year. When everyone makes much better gifts than Hal, he spins a bigger and bigger lie about the present he has in store for them. In desperation, Hal pick-pockets Malcolm's secret credit card, and buys the family a ski vacation.

When Malcolm spots a roughed up 1967 Cuda in his neighborhood, he instantly falls in love with it and purchases the car. But he gets so caught up in the difficult task of restoring it that he blows off Stevie as well as Reese who needs him for an illegal betting scheme of his. Hal on the other hand, is having success when he stumbles upon his hidden talent -- hairstyling. Lois doesn't have time to worry about Malcolm or Hal, as she is caught up in scandal between Craig and their Lucky Aide boss Fred. Craig says he is taking time off to tutor Fred's wife in golf but Lois finds out he is actually having an affair with her.

When Hal catches Dewey smoking, he makes a deal with him that he will stop drinking coffee if Dewey quits smoking.