Roger je naštvaný na zbytek rodiny, která na Vánoce slaví své křesťanské svátky, a proto místo toho tráví čas se Snotem, který mu říká o židovské víře. Nedopatřením se však z Rogera stane nový Santa Claus.

Francine zjistí, že Stan již několik let ovlivňuje její oblíbený ranní pořad. Snot se nastěhuje k příteli své matky, kde má pokoj v magickém suterénu.

Stan se těší na nové sčítání lidu, ale je zklamán tím, kdo v jeho městě bude pracovat na sčítání. O to víc ho naštve přítomnost Hayley a Rogera. Klaus fotí Stevea a jeho kamarády.

Steve a Roger zjistí, že existuje tajné společenství, které sbírá ptačí vejce. Když se tuto organizaci snaží zastavit, tak Roger propadne šílenství. Celá domácnost rodiny Smithů se kvůli nové omáčce změní na italskou.

Stan je zděšen, když vidí, že je pověstná zeď s patrioty pošpiněna. Steve jde do školy klaunů, kde se jeho učitelem stane Roger.

Hayley navštíví svého otce v práci a zděsí se jeho pracovních podmínek. Řešením není nic jiného než stávka. Roger, Steve, Francine a Klaus dělají vše pozpátku, díky čemuž mají šanci nalézt poklad.

Stan begins to experience crippling separation anxiety, which affects his performance at work; Klaus builds a website and forces the rest of the family to participate.

Francine hosts a dinner party even though a serial killer who attacks dinner parties is terrorizing the town; when the lights go out and guests start to disappear, Roger takes charge of solving the mystery of who is stalking the party.

Bullock asks Stan to fill in for him at his class at the CIA Academy and Stan finds that the cadets are the perfect captive audience for his boring stories; Klaus becomes the hype-man for a famous rapper

Stan is frustrated with traffic so he goes to the mayor and proposes that the town build a bullet train, but the mayor laughs off the idea; Roger pushes Stan into running for mayor; Stan wins the election but finds himself overwhelmed.

When Steve starts acting out his sexual energy, Francine asks Stan to give him the talk, but he makes Steve join a creepy father-daughter celibacy club with him instead. Also, the family builds a water slide in the backyard.

Roger becomes worried about outliving the family; Klaus opens a convenience store in the attic.

Francine falls in with a group of tough girls after becoming the new school guidance counselor. Jeff panics when he loses his hat.

After her family accuses her of being a quitter, Francine becomes a bodybuilder. Klaus claims to have invented the high five.

Jeff starts hanging out with Stan's favorite celebrity chef while in search of an identity. Klaus and Roger start their own valet operation.

Stan has to take over Roger’s different personas after a tumor takes him out of commission. Principal Lewis pressures Steve and the school choir to do whatever it takes to win.

Steve gets competitive during the father-son events at Possum Lake. Roger learns how to ride a bike.

Steve and Roger restart their career as a twin brother acting duo. The family becomes addicted to a novelty gift shop.

Steve goes to boarding school, only to discover it's an all-girls school. Stan is annoyed by a parade of characters that come to take Steve's place at home.

Francine becomes obsessed with home security after a break-in rattles her. Steve tries on Hayley's laidback approach to school work.

Hayley feels left behind after Jeff becomes a star dog racing coach; Steve takes advantage of an empty house.

Worried about their bickering, Stan and Francine go to extremes to save their marriage. Roger excels at jingle writing.