When Steve is selected to sing the national anthem at the Langley Falls Veterans' Day celebration, he gets some heat from Stan who doesn't think he's ready for such an undertaking. Unimpressed with Steve's vocal talents, Stan decides Steve needs to experience real war in order to sing about our country's military prowess. But things quickly go south when Roger gets involved and Steve goes bananas.

When Roger and Francine go wine-tasting, Roger plants a big kiss on Francine in a drunken moment. Francine decides to tell Stan about this incident, but when they sit down to talk, Roger convinces Stan that Francine started it all.

Stan is ecstatic when Roger offers to help him live out his lifelong dream of opening a restaurant to rival his favorite childhood haunt - until their different visions for what the eatery should be cause havoc. Meanwhile, Steve meets Ashley, the new girl in school who invites him over while her parents are out of town.

Roger becomes Steve's legal guardian, but gets a little overzealous in the parenting department when he gets the principal fired. After getting beat up by the other teachers at the school, Steve decides to run away. Meanwhile, Stan and Francine attempt to make waves after discovering that their vacation at the biggest water park in the world fails to get their hearts pumping.

When Stan runs into his former crush from CIA boot camp, his affection for her resurfaces, which drives Francine into a jealous frenzy. By including Roger in her plan for revenge, Francine accidentally leads him straight into the arms of a dangerous alien hunter. Meanwhile, Steve is struck with good luck, when he accidentally wears Hayley’s panties to school.

Stan joins Roger and Steve's fictional detective agency, but he ruins the fun by being extremely incompetent at his "job." Roger demands that Steve fire Stan, but Steve cannot bring himself to do it and ends up lying to Roger. Things take a turn for the worse when Stan is kidnapped, and Steve must tell Roger the truth.

When Roger hires Hayley as a singer in his new bar, he becomes enthralled by her voice; Stan tries to prove his masculinity by negotiating a good deal on a new car.

Francine regrets deciding to teach Roger the value of hard work; Steve interviews Stan for a school project.

Steve decides to prove his manhood by accompanying Stan and his CIA cronies on their annual hunting excursion. Meanwhile, Roger and Klaus undertake a cross-country trek.

When Steve starts acting like a spoiled brat during the holidays, Stan takes him to see his incarcerated Grandpa Jack, who tells him the story of how he caught Minstrel Krampus, a legendary demon who punishes naughty children on Christmas. Stan decides that releasing Krampus is the only way to straighten out Steve's attitude. But when Krampus kidnaps Steve, it's up to Stan and Roger to get him back. Meanwhile, Hayley gets a job at the airport, but quickly realizes that she might not be cut out for customer service.

Roger forges a radical plan to help Steve date the hot girl at school. Roger will switch faces with Steve "Face/Off"-style, seduce her, then tag Steve back in after she's fallen for him. But, Roger soon decides he may actually want to keep her for himself. Meanwhile, Stan and Francine become "Charlie's Angels"-type airline stewardesses to thwart an evil plan by Mark Cuban who wants to blow up the sun.

Roger is forced to sell his beloved attic bar to a restaurant chain after suffering a heart attack, and a sexy new next-door neighbor promises to take Steve and his friends’ virginity in return for housework.

When Steve swears at Francine, she refuses to cook for him, and he becomes a successful chef, appearing on a popular morning show. Meanwhile, Stan thinks he can make people invisible by snapping his fingers.

When Stan lies about his texting-and-driving accident, he takes a seizure medication and suffers from the side effects. Meanwhile, Roger helps Steve with his performance anxiety.

When Stan is given the task of putting together the CIA calendar, Hayley attempts to destroy it. Meanwhile, Roger gets a Discover card and fakes his death to get out of paying the enormous balance.

Everyone is separated after the ship explodes: Stan and Francine lose their memories and resort to primitive living on an island; Hayley and Jeff are rescued by the Navy and Jeff decides to enlist; and Roger and Steve try to survive on a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean.

Steve becomes a pilot.

Klaus gets transferred into the navigation system of Stan's car when Stan refuses to pay for life-saving surgery; Steve and his friends prank Roger, who then terrorizes them for revenge.

While having trouble communicating, Stan and Hayley team up to stop a terrorist plot to blow up the Bazooka Sharks arena. Meanwhile, Roger pretends to be an escort.

Stan discovers that the Langley Falls historical mural has been ruined by graffiti and neglect and convinces the town to allow him to restore the mural himself; Roger becomes Steve's instructor at a prestigious clowning university.

Roger becomes worried about outliving the family; Klaus opens a convenience store in the attic.

Francine becomes obsessed with home security after a break-in rattles her. Steve tries on Hayley's laidback approach to school work.

Roger breaks up Steve's friendship with Snot, Barry and Toshi. Jeff realizes he has a flair for house flipping and gets Stan, Francine and Hayley involved.

Stan, reluctantly invites Roger into his ham club. Francine decides to scare Greg.

Roger enlists Jeff as his protégé in order to open his dream strip club; Klaus moves into Steve’s room.

Concerned that Hayley is too soft-hearted, Stan attempts to make her "farm tough" by turning the house into an urban homestead.

After Stan's plan for the perfect Christmas goes terribly, tragically wrong, he's given a magical opportunity to make things right.

Stan becomes infatuated with a doll that the CIA wants to use to spy on the Russians.

A new friendship causes Hayley to start worrying she might be slowly turning into Francine. Steve and his friends try out for Roger's improv troupe.

When Principal Lewis threatens to cancel science club, Steve takes matters into his own hands in a monstrous way.

Steve and Snot's friendship gets put to the test when their mothers start to fight.

Steve profiles Stan for an essay contest at school; Francine uses a porta john.

When Francine successfully grows a garden, it reminds Roger he knows a recipe for truly authentic jambalaya.

Francine insists that Steve let her help with his school project, Stan finally fixes that shingle, and the rest of the family goes on a quest to return Gallagher's mallet.

The Smiths get new neighbors! Meanwhile, Roger dreads having to be a little boy's kite for a day.

Suspicious about Hayley's mysterious, newfound wealth, Francine decides to get to the bottom of it. Roger sets out to make Stan an internet celebrity.