Francine insists that Stan and Hayley spend an entire day together, after their arguments drive her crazy, so they can work out their differences about gun control. However, her plan backfires when he takes Hayley to the "National Gun Association Land," where their conflicting opinions about gun control drive them even further apart. Back home, Roger schemes to get revenge on Steve for eating one of his cookies by convincing him that he's adopted.

When Francine discovers Stan's secret, decades-old passion for competitive figure skating, she decides to be supportive and becomes his pairs partner until Stan's competitive nature gets the best of him and he ditches her for a new partner. Meanwhile, Steve's classmate Snot finds new respect among his peers when he parades his mail-order bride around the playground.

When an injunction prevents Langley Falls from lighting their annual Christmas tree, Stan blames secular non-believers for ruining his favorite holiday. With Stan's holiday spirit at an all-time low, the Ghost of Christmas Past visits him and tries to show him the true meaning of Christmas. However, Stan is convinced that Christmas can be saved by changing the outcome of Vietnam, but finds that changing the past only dramatically changes the future.

Terry and Greg, the Smiths' gay neighbors, want to have a baby, and Francine offers to be their surrogate. Not surprisingly, Stan objects. Meanwhile, Steve and Roger play a practical joke on Klaus, who vows revenge.

Stan and Francine give the constantly nasty Roger an ultimatum: Be nice or ship out. Meanwhile, Klaus and Hayley play truth or dare, and Steve decides to become a backup dancer.

Hayley goes on a rampage after her boyfriend breaks up with her, but she calms down when she begins dating Stan's CIA body double, Bill. Meanwhile, Steve and Roger get jobs separating male and female chicks at a Chinatown hatchery.

Stan is ecstatic--and energetic--when a coworker gives him pills that allow him to stay up all night.

When Stan forgets to pick up grenadine at the grocery store, Roger goes ballistic and vows to get him back by taking over a project close to his heart--the Homeowner’s Association.

Steve must become the man of the house when Stan re-lives his childhood.

When Roger and Francine go wine-tasting, Roger plants a big kiss on Francine in a drunken moment. Francine decides to tell Stan about this incident, but when they sit down to talk, Roger convinces Stan that Francine started it all.

Stan is ecstatic when Roger offers to help him live out his lifelong dream of opening a restaurant to rival his favorite childhood haunt - until their different visions for what the eatery should be cause havoc. Meanwhile, Steve meets Ashley, the new girl in school who invites him over while her parents are out of town.

In an attempt to advance in the CIA, Stan enrolls Steve in the same private school as Senator Buckingham's daughter.

After Steve quits and joins a Latina street gang, Roger fills in & things are going well until Roger accidentally sells the senator’s daughter to a drug lord.

Roger acts as the family therapist as his alter-ego "Dr. Penguin" until he is sent out to fight the war in Iraq. Klaus decides to take Roger's role while he is away, but not without major ruckus being caused.

Francine regrets deciding to teach Roger the value of hard work; Steve interviews Stan for a school project.

When Francine invites Stan's father to a party, a dark secret about the Smith family's past is revealed.

Stan mixes up his nighttime routine after his 100th kill, but mistakenly unleashes a "good" Stan in his sleep - Jekyll & Hyde-style - who's hell-bent on pursuing all the good deeds that real Stan would never consider, and stopping him from ever killing again.

Stan is fired from the CIA in a round of budget cuts, but since his 20 years of work experience are classified and hidden from his "permanent record", the only job he's able to land is at the local grocery store where Steve is the manager. Meanwhile, Roger bets an annoying coffee shop musician that he can outplay him in one week. To accomplish his goal, he enters into a Faustian bargain with Lorenzo, a guitar-instructing infomercial host.

When the CIA is forced to make cutbacks and go on furlough, Stan volunteers to take a position as a college campus security guard. Meanwhile, Roger opens a bed and breakfast to boost the family's income.

When Stan wishes he could have Principal Lewis' carefree, single life, a la "It's a Wonderful Life," his wish comes true. In Stan's wish world, Principal Lewis has his family.

To avoid a suicide mission, Stan must beat Bullock in a DJ battle; Jeff starts drinking psychedelic teas and builds an imaginary musical instrument with Roger's help.

Stan becomes a wanted man, running from Roger the bounty hunter, and ends up in a town in need of a good guy to help Principal Lewis, Francine, Steve and Hayley.

Stan uses a mothballed military computer to do Steve's math homework, starting the clock toward nuclear annihilation.