While trying to grab a couple of women in the ass, Duckman saves the president's life. When this fact is later revealed, Duckman tries to capitalize on his sleazy image.

Bernice returns home with news that she is getting married to a self-made billionaire who plans to take her and the kids away with him to Europe, leaving Duckman alone.

Duckman & Cornfed go undercover into an exclusive celebrity-filled health spa to investigate one of the support groups.

Duckman, in search of his free clock radio, takes the family out to the desert. They wind up in a small town where ""King"" Chicken is the sheriff and Duckman is put on trial for being a heretic.

As the disclaimer says at the beginning this episode is full ""of heavy handed and over-obvious allegory,"" when for some children, Duckman and Cornfed search for what has become of a beautiful model named America.

The family goes to a new age fair and at one of the booths, Duckman meets his mother who's been reincarnated as a ""highly infectious germ"". He learns that if he parents his children correctly he won't come back as germ, so he showers his kids with too much affection.

Ajax's natural talent for poetry makes him popular. Duckman gets him signed to a contract for a job creating greeting cards, but Ajax isn't happy with his new occupation.

Duckman is kidnapped by an irate viewer who doesn't like the lack of morals portrayed on his television show.