Arriving in the idyllic little village of Little Stempington Joyce and Jeremy Hazledine believe that they have escaped the big city rat-race at last. This feeling is further enhanced when two of their new neighbours arrive with welcome baskets. However, the nightmare begins when Joyce accepts a seemingly innocent invitation from Camilla Diamond to tour the village and ends up blowing up the local Wicker Barn. Later, she gives a lift to another villager who offers her tea and explains the reasons behind the secret turf war between rival gangs of power-crazed housewives.

For her initiation into Camilla's gang, Joyce has to go after the local librarian.

To raise funds, Camilla hosts a Botox party with a cocaine-addicted plastic surgeon as the guest of honor. When Joyce and Lillian decide to let themselves become test subjects in a hormone-replacement therapy experiment, they experience unusual side effects.

With Camilla threatening her husband's life, Joyce is forced to plan a heist. Meanwhile, two deejays arrive in town to run an illegal dance party.

Under the pretense that it is a holiday shopping trip, Camilla goes to Calais on a mission to buy the illegal drugs for her hormone-therapy scheme, unaware that her daughter Jewel has taken the payment money.

When a new 24-hour superpub opens in Little Stempington, a horrified Barbara and her gang take steps to have it closed down. However, Camilla and her gang have decided that the pub is the ideal venue to introduce their new triple-strength hormone replacement.

Emile Lesoux, the Frenchman who hasn't been paid for his drugs, turns up in Little Stempington and kidnaps Joyce. But Barbara, the one in possession of the 300,000, is using the money to bid for Rod Stewart's thong.