Discuss Madame Web
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Five minutes in and....
posted by aholejonesSTAFFMOD on March 15, 2024 at 4:05 PM
We have a pregnant woman who seems to in her last weeks of pregnancy frolicking in a tropical jungle because that is obviously just what doctors recommend. Next we have some helping hand/security guy who brings her an umbrella because it's raining and she is being a real d!ck to him for no reason whatsoever. Helping hand walks away from her and we see him walking away and the rain has magically stopped in the second it took for the scene to change. Next we have pregnant lady proudly announce that she found the spider she was looking for that was almost impossible to find just a minute ago, but I guess she just picked one up from the ground or something. Security guy kills everyone in camp because he has a spider fetish or something and I guess we are supposed to feel bad for the pregnant lady, but it's kind of hard since just a minute ago they portrayed her as a d!ck. Fast forward to today and madame web apparently works as a paramedic and she is unenthusiastically driving someone's mom who flatlined to the hospital. Luckily she makes it and a smiling kid gives her a thank you card the he drew himself and Madame web is dumbfounded and asks "NOW WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS??!!!!".
Oh man......I thought all the bad reviews were exaggerating but when just the beginning is like this....it's going to be a bumpy ride watching this.
Reply by bratface
on March 15, 2024 at 4:54 PM
All of that happened in the first five minutes? 😏
Reply by aholejones
on March 16, 2024 at 5:01 AM
Well, all but the driving to the hospital and the card that was probably 8 minutes in.
In all fairness even though as far as I know Madame Web was received worse than Argylle I'm having a much better time watching this one than Argylle, which was just utterly dull and tedious and a chore to get through and I had to put it on hiatus after an hour. Madame Web is at least somewhat entertaining and even though it is a bad movie it at least makes me laugh. Not for the right reasons probably, but still. Like the scene early on in the movie where his friend or boss is driving an ambulance and gets hit by a semi and she runs over to him and starts CPR and does it for like 10 seconds before her paramedic colleague pulls her off and says "There is nothing you could've done". I think the idea is to at least give them a fighting chance before calling it quits, but I guess they really didn't like their boss and I suppose even that 10 seconds of CPR looks better than just poking him with a stick.
Reply by wonder2wonder
on March 16, 2024 at 10:17 AM
The critics and audience thought that the CPR performed here was boring like at the training. In real life it should be like e.g. this, or two together, or funny and bloody. Anything would have been more exciting for the critics, and perhaps they'd given it one tenth of a percentage higher rating.
Reply by D-magic
on March 17, 2024 at 9:24 AM
I was fortunate enough to see both Madame Web and Argylle back to back in the same evening, as my dominatrix was trying to be creative and wanted to add an extra pain and extra suffering for me. It's good that my hands were tied, because I was desperately trying to claw my own eyes out and rip off my ears. I kept repeating my safe word to stop this torture, but the word was "still better than The Marvels", so you can see how it was confusing for her. Anyway, I watched both movies and I will be looking for a new Dom. This one screwed up big time.
Reply by aholejones
on March 17, 2024 at 3:00 PM
Well, I got through watching "Madame Web" and while far from a good movie it didn't turn out to be as bad as those 1/10 movies that Marvel has been putting like Ant Man Quantumania, The Marvels, Thor Love and Thunder etc. I'd say a 5/10 - perfectly passable entertainment, but nothing I'd probably want to watch again in this lifetime. To give credit where credit is due later on in the movie they do explain why the pregnant woman in the beginning is frolicking in the jungle. Does it make sense? Not really, but I suppose in comic science it does. So if you're on a date like D-magic and she offers you a choice between Argylle and Madame Web the decision is very easy: get a new date.
SPOILERS:
There's a lot of stuff in the movie that doesn't really make sense, but I have to ask why is she in wheelchair in the end? She falls to a lake or something and somehow a firecracker hits her face underwater (SIC) which costs her her eyesight, but nothing seems to happen that would've caused a spinal injury. I googled the character and apparently in the comics she is in a wheelchair and I suppose the director and/or scriptwriter were too lazy to come up with reason why she'd end up in one in the movie.
Reply by D-magic
on March 17, 2024 at 4:12 PM
"Too lazy" is the correct answer on everything regarding this movie.