I would be concerned about a girl being plowed by Superman for 5000 years but it is better than a hoe banging different dudes left and right.

But the best thing would be having a girl who doesn't age. If the mute girl was pretty, even a better catch! No nagging!

The more you watch the more obvious it seems to become what an utterly dreadful movie this is. The acting is truly terrible and there are so many scenes where one or more of these 'eternals' are literally crying about something and it all seems so forced and corny. Earth's whiniest superheroes should be their catchphrase. My favourite being the "dramatic" scene where the black guy is sitting in the ruins of Hiroshima and crying there and the acting was so horrible and the dialogue so ridiculous it was like it was directed by Tommy Wiseau. The good part was that it was the only laugh I got from the whole movie even though it tries to throw some comedy bits here and there it just isn't funny and Dev Patel especially fails spectacularly in the comedy department. Actually scratch that, and I feel terrible for this, but I did also laugh at the scene where deaf-mute chick suddenly lets out a dramatic yell when one of them is getting laser blasted.

By the way if Felix the cat.....excuse me Arishem built these superheroes in his mom's basement or laboratory or whatever why make so many of these clowns each with a different clown ability? Wouldn't it have made more sense for that second rate Gyro Gearloose to just make one eternal and give it all the superpowers? I should also mention that it is kind of strange how they make so many dramatic speeches about how they can not intervene in human affairs like war etc. and yet they show so many scenes of them saving children for example. Like, make up your mind already. The romantic affair between Kit Harington's character and the leading lady also left me puzzled. If these eternals are some kind of robots the whole thing starts to get pretty weird and awkward so what does that make him a robosexual?

"These lesser known properties are inherently hit or miss when it comes to film adaptations. Guardians Of The Galaxy and Deadpool lend themselves to subversive comedy, which really is an attraction for both de-hard cape movie fans and the casual viewer alike. By contrast, a flick like Eternals or another Constantine movie(which is apparently in the works)is going to require a masterful filmmaker at the helm and first-rate writing for such movies to draw in an audience"

I think you hit the nail on the head on that one. I imagine the director and producer etc. were feeling pretty confident that since this is another Marvel movie it doesn't matter how terrible the script or acting or whatever is and people will still see it because it is a Marvel movie. Kind of like how Patty Jenkins must have felt after directing Wonder Woman and getting praise for that and then doing that turd Wonder Woman 1984 movie thinking she could do no wrong.

@aholejones said:

I think you hit the nail on the head on that one. I imagine the director and producer etc. were feeling pretty confident that since this is another Marvel movie it doesn't matter how terrible the script or acting or whatever is and people will still see it because it is a Marvel movie. Kind of like how Patty Jenkins must have felt after directing Wonder Woman and getting praise for that and then doing that turd Wonder Woman 1984 movie thinking she could do no wrong.

Actually, Kevin Feige had stated that Chloé Zhao pitched this movie to Marvel (long before she won an Oscar for Best Director). Marvel had never planned on making an Eternals film until Zhao requested it, and she wrote the movie along with Patrick Burleigh, Ryan Firpo, and Kaz Firpo.

@mechajutaro said:

Actually, Kevin Feige had stated that Chloé Zhao pitched this movie to Marvel (long before she won an Oscar for Best Director). Marvel had never planned on making an Eternals film until Zhao requested it, and she wrote the movie along with Patrick Burleigh, Ryan Firpo, and Kaz Firpo.

Feige is trying his hand at damage control

Chloé Zhao confirmed it in an interview (with The Radio Times) as well that she's the one that pitched the idea to them, and even stated she had zero studio interference while making the film as well as given unlimited resources.

The problem with the movie was that it was boring and there is no time to care about anyone. If you boil down the plot it's actually pretty interesting, but it's such a slog to get to the interesting parts that it's not even worth it. And the "action" scenes are ALL HORRIBLE. Just a lot of twirling around and fighting CGI monsters. It's boring as shit.

But really, it's the characters. They all suck. I can't tell you a thing about them aside from their physical appearance and that their powers are just repurposed powers from other better (largely DC) characters.

@mechajutaro said:

@Innovator said:

@mechajutaro said:

Actually, Kevin Feige had stated that Chloé Zhao pitched this movie to Marvel (long before she won an Oscar for Best Director). Marvel had never planned on making an Eternals film until Zhao requested it, and she wrote the movie along with Patrick Burleigh, Ryan Firpo, and Kaz Firpo.

Feige is trying his hand at damage control

Chloé Zhao confirmed it in an interview (with The Radio Times) as well that she's the one that pitched the idea to them, and even stated she had zero studio interference while making the film as well as given unlimited resources.

Hurray for her, even if this didn't seem to bring in the audiences. For the sake of her and the cast, let's all pray that their next projects are more gainful

Considering the reception for this film, I doubt Marvel is ever going to make that mistake again. 😏

@mechajutaro said:

Chloe Zhao's got lots of options aside from The MCU.

Of course she does, she's not a white dude lol. Not that she's a bad director, but this is the perfect time to be a woman in Hollywood regardless of quality. They'd probably give her $300 million dollars to make a climate change movie set on Mars starring Lizzo.

@Damienracer said:

@cswood said:

@mechajutaro said:

Chloe Zhao's got lots of options aside from The MCU.

Of course she does, she's not a white dude lol. Not that she's a bad director, but this is the perfect time to be a woman in Hollywood regardless of quality. They'd probably give her $300 million dollars to make a climate change movie set on Mars starring Lizzo.

Lizzo?

Lizzo.

@aholejones said:

I mean that first "big" fight and action scene at the beginning of the film that is supposed to set the tone for the movie get you all pumped and excited, but it's more like someone threw a wet towel in your face and then slapped your behind with that same towel for good measure. These superheroes look and sound so generic and cheap it's like someone did a movie of that "Mom can we get X and Mom replies we have X at home" meme. It's kind of like instead of making sure they were making a decent movie they spent most of their time making sure and double sure that the cast was ticking all those necessary boxes of virtua signaling so you have a smorgasbord of politically and socially correct characters representing all races and sexual preferences and charisma and acting ability are not so important in a movie. Exactly the thing a fan of comics and/or superhero movies is looking for in these movies. The cast don't seem all too interested in the film either and didn't seem to make any effort for the movie or in the movie. I thought that usually these actors hit the gym and start dieting to get in shape for these movies, but it looks like the only thing these people hit hard was the all you can eat buffet and open bar.

Anyways, I think I will need to be more positive in the year 2022 so I will try to make note of positive things in these movies as well. As far as this movie goes I did get a laugh from that scene in the beginning where 'Dane' is talking about his relationship with sandgirl or whatever her name was after her Superman clone boyfriend shows up. I have to say that Dane looked pretty disappointed when he heard Duperman had been doing his girlfriend for the last 5000 years. I mean can you blame the guy for being disappointed? That might be a tough pill to swallow even in 2022's loose standards.

Nailed it imo. This was a weird mix of casting/characters and none had any chemistry with the other. Neither their races/skin colors/accents/motivations/reason for existence made any sense. Nor did the whole Celestials/Eternals raison d'etre as well. So Celestials are beings that emerged somehow right after Big Bang and are larger than planets and float in space and need planets as seedlings for birthing new Celestials. Ok, very weird and bizarre but whatever. Now they also need (intelligent ?) life to exist because apparently when enough life appears, the "event" happens where the Celestial is born at the cost of the planet. From a Celestial pov, ok, this is simple. Somehow however, Deviants emerged from "far reaches of the Universe" supposedly as per the opening scene so Celestials created Eternals to fight them. Ok, why couldn't the Celestials simply wipe the Deviants out? Or simply ignore them? Apparently, because the Celestials need "enough (intelligent?) life" to exist, not even sure how Celestials are measuring this to determine - ah, the count of such requirement has just been met.... after millions/billions of years of life evolution on a planet. So when wars or Extinction Level Events happen (like asteroid hits), they did jack shit and neither when Thanos wiped half the Universe life. But now suddenly the Eternals appear after telling us...shock... they existed for 7000+ years on Earth all along. And inexplicably are have all these skin types - white, black, brown, yellow, red, pink etc. despite cradle of civilization starting in Africa but are with brown skinned Egyptians and somehow have American, British, Spanish, African, Chinese, Korean, Indian etc. accents. And they made a grand appearance only after Deviants violently killed some kids father and now the kid is all smiles as the Eternal do a group photo shot with his slain parent right there. Jeez.... not only ridiculous but also beyond insensitive for a movie purporting to be checkbox heavy...And speaking of...

Holy checkbox Batman. So we have Celestials who created Eternals, not as uniform AI/Robots but in guise of humans who wouldn't really have these features/accents for another 9000 years around year 2022 CE. Yeah... And they have these checkboxes - white, black, brown, asian, hispanic and also straight, gay, lesbian and young, old, child and American, British, Spanish, Chinese, Korean, African etc. and black hair, blonde, redhead, brown hair and mixed race and deaf (perhaps) and mute and have mental health problems too fighting depression or ptsd or something and gave them the silliest of powers so that even 2-3 of them can't take on the Deviants, who shockingly, were also created by the Celestials. Why?????

Eternals is just going to be Eternally bad. This is really worse than the Fantastic Four remake. One of the worst movies I've seen from Marvel. It is no longer about good stories from actors/actresses who have good chemistry but a worried - checkbox ticking fest so there's no chemistry, bad story and bad everything else.

The way the Eternals speak could be a characteristic of who they are that's carried over from the comicbooks.

I just wanted to say the cast has me intrigued enough that I will check this out eventually. And I don't want to read any consumerist 'arguments' about how if I haven't spent money on the film yet, my opinions about it don't count. The cast is really interesting.

The Shang-Chi movie left me lukewarm, so I am a bit leery about this. Just a little. I really dig me some Awkwafina, but it just did. If Marvel is going to try to do stuff that's left field from the films that made them their fortune.... I'll just say I thought they'd go in for more introspective stuff, hell, for awhile, I expected a possible film about Spider-Woman from them.