Discuss Ocean's Eight

I don't even know how they managed to make this movie into such a boring uninteresting longwinded mess. Somehow they managed to make the whole cast seem so smug and unlikeable and the only one who seems to act even remotely close to a normal person is the ex-boyfriend Claude Becker. The ethnically diverse and extremely socially acceptable team of "experts" seem about as believable in their roles as Tommy Wiseau in the room. Let my break down some of the experts for you:

First you have the black IT expert who acts like a thug. I mean, if there's something hollywood has taught us over and over it's that black people are great hackers. She is a super intelligent hacker to boot, but still needs to act like some kind of a thug to fit a certain racial stereotype. She even has a sister who is a genius in some other field (magnets I guess) who also has to act like a thug. I mean isn't that how all geniuses act? People don't realize it, but when Albert Einstein wasn't working in the field of physics he was chilling in his homies' crib chugging down a 40 and riding in his homies' whip carrying a gat just looking for an excuse to bust a cap in any fool's a$s.

The asian thief. Again, if Hollywood has taught as anything, it's that asian people are good stealing stuff and karate. The expert thief is apparently one of the best people in the craft of thievery. So how does she employ this renowned set of skills. She hustles tourists in the street in three card monty. You'd imagine there would be more lucrative ways to use those skills, but I guess not.

The Indian gemologist/lapidarist (or whatever) who is again apparently one of the best people in said field, but can't find a better use for these skills than work in her mother's small jewel sweat shop.

The fence. Just your typical soccer mom who has a garage full of stolen stuff that somehow apparently just appeared in there. If anyone, like your husband asks where they came from, just say you got it from Ebay. Yeah, that makes sense.

The mastermind. So, she spent the last five years planning this great heist and apparently planning for each minute detail like the number of security guards the diamond company would employ and how they would act etc. to a ridiculous degree. Then, after the great heist, she meets the insurance investigator, who kind of knows she did the job and she pretty much confesses to it, but instead of say recording said conversation, the investigator listens to the masterminds proposal, which is to give 10% back of the diamonds, which she planted on an innocent guy, and send the innocent guy to jail for the theft. Now obviously the insurance investigator has zero moral or other problems accepting this proposal and is never heard from again in the movie. Next scene innocent guy is going to jail. Jewelry company is apparently completely satisfied they got back 1/10 of the stolen diamonds. End movie. Such a happy ending.

I should also add that there is a lot of great comedy in this. I mean Sandra Bullock talking german to people who don't understand what she is saying. What could be more funny.

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