I felt embarrassed to be watching this. It's an embarrassing fever dream. I abandoned it halfway through its runtime.

More dinosaurs, Opie’s hot daughter, Dracula’s castle and Indiana Jones

“Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” (2018) revolves around Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) and Owen (Chris Pratt) leading a team back to Isla Nublar to save several species of dinosaurs after an active volcano threatens all life there. The plan is to relocate the dinosaurs to a new island sanctuary, but that’s not the way it works out.

My title blurb pretty much says it all for this fifth film in the franchise. I mention Indiana Jones because the movie has a “Raiders of the Lost Ark” (1981) vibe more so than the other movi... les resten.

As a kid dinosaurs was one of my great interests. Thus I was so thrilled by the first Jurassic Park movie, which I thought then, and still think today, is a great movie. Sadly the following movies have been a mixed bag to say the least.

This movie falls in the “that was disappointing” category I am afraid. It is obviously that however wrote the story was a lazy bugger that simply rehashed old bits and standard Hollywood cheap concepts and then added some frustrating preaching to it.

The two scenes, one at the beginning and one in the end, where Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) was just sitting... les resten.

A strong, strong opening that it never recovers* from.

(*"never recovers from" here meaning "never stops dissapointing afterwards".)

Final rating:★★½ - Had a lot that appealed to me, didn’t quite work as a whole.

Cover Version 2

It was 1993 when Jurassic Park was unleashed upon the film loving public, spawning a blockbuster franchise and pop culture thunders in the process. Sadly we now find ourselves suffering cover versions of what was once a great and thought provoking premise with high octane thrills into the bargain.

I guess once they started personalising the Velociraptors, making one of them a friend of man, it was the beginning of the end. But we accepted it - sort of - jumping into 2015's Jurassic World with carefree abandon. More dino carnage we wanted, a bright cast fronted by the ever... les resten.

Brain hurt. Me no likey. Err...umm...ahem.

This is a movie that really stretches it as far as believability, logic, or even physics.

First, just a quick note: The trailer makes it seem like the movie spends its time on an island about to blow up. Less than half the movie is that. So, if you're looking for a long drawn out volcanic eruption, look elsewhere.

The heroes are annoying and dumb caricatures, from the techie who's afraid of everything to the wisecracking animal wrangler (in fairness, this is Chris Pratt's character from the previous film, but still). The villains are short-sig... les resten.

I spent half the time scoffing at the plot Jurassic World 2 was throwing at me, which diluted the fun I was having by looking at the superb CGI, moderate man-dinosaur action, and an overall fine cast performance. It still is a lot worse than Jurassic World (2015), which had a story almost as good as the original, the legendary Jurassic Park (1993) which almost seems impossible to mimic or better today. TN.

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Jurassic World: FallenKingdom still holds the same massive narrative issues.

If not for J. A. Bayona's incredible direction, this would be at the bottom of my ranking. No impressive visuals can overcome the nonsensical plot, annoying side characters, and that awful auction storyline.

Rating: D+

Well, this is the fourth Jurassic Park movie I have watched over the past month and it feels like my reviews are very similar, something I try to avoid obviously.

So let me get a few similarities out of the way. Once again a child is placed at risk, though these precocious kids always seem adept at outrunning dinosaurs even while under a blind panic, so hats off to them. There are of course bad guys on the dinosaur menu, up to at least three in this Jurassic entry. And as usual a couple of times our heroes are saved from certain death by one predator Dino attacking another at the last secon... les resten.

A lot of action in this one. The movie kind of dragged along. Boring at times.