5) It's hard to take aliens who buy their clothes from a Lord Of The Rings thrift shop seriously. 6) The best way to kill an obese zombie is to sneak up behind him and hit him over the head with a tree branch.

7)Don't use your gun to scratch your face. 8) Never trust a leader of an extraterrestrial planet who wears WAY too much eyeshadow.

9)Never use a shower curtain to separate the cockpit and the passenger section. It's just too tacky.

10)If the US government tells you NOT to talk to ANYONE about the UFO you saw, go ahead and tell your wife about it .

11)The best way for a police officer to investigate a disturbed grave is to jump into it carrying a lit match.

12)If there's one thing a US Army General cannot stand, it's aliens who send audiotapes that go on, and on, and on....

13)In San Fernando, California, it can be day and night AT THE SAME TIME!

14)Some zombies can stumble around wearing clean clothes, immaculately styled hair and no blood on their faces, unlike some zombies I could mention (yes, I'm talking to you, The Walking Dead).

15)If you're an exterrestial race who wants to establish a friendly relationship with the planet Earth, killing a small town with people in it, people who died, is not the way to go about it.

16)There are times when a man can't believe his own eyes, especially when he's drunk.

17)Don't believe ANYTHING said by a guy named Criswell.

18) If you're an exterrestial who wants to talk to the United Nations General Assembly, your chances of being taken seriously will be a lot better if you speak English with a sexy British accent.

19)Enough with the spaceships that look like a hubcap already!