Unscrupulous boxing promoters, violent bookmakers, a Russian gangster, incompetent amateur robbers and supposedly Jewish jewelers fight to track down a priceless stolen diamond.

Disgraced ex-England football captain, Danny 'Mean Machine' Meehan, is thrown in jail for assaulting two police officers. He keeps his head down and has the opportunity to forget everything and change the lives of the prisoners. When these prisoners have the chance to put one over the evil guards during a prison football match, Danny takes the lead.

Stranded and alone on a desert island during a cruise, a spoiled rich woman and a deckhand fall in love and make a date to reunite after their rescue.

A card shark and his unwillingly-enlisted friends need to make a lot of cash quick after losing a sketchy poker match. To do this they decide to pull a heist on a small-time gang who happen to be operating out of the flat next door.

A Short Film About John Bolton is a darkly hip and hilarious film explores the question that torments artists of every medium: "Where do your ideas come from?" Renowned artist John Bolton's paintings of voluptuous she-vampire nudes have earned this quiet eccentric a reputation for having a "damaged imagination." BBC radio personality Jonathan Ross buys his pieces, which leads interviewer extraordinaire Marcus Brigstocke to find out what the appeal is in Bolton's beautiful (but terrifying) artwork. Why does Bolton demand that his gallery "monsterpieces" speak for themselves? What does he do with that ornamental knife that he carries everywhere? Will Marcus ever learn how to operate the camera?