Bernie Orenstein — Writer

Episodes 3

One Foot in Your Mouth

0%
October 21, 199630m
1x6

Deceit weaves a tangled web around Hilton, who tells ""one little lie"" and then, to keep up the ruse, finds that he must pretend he's someone else -- and not married to Ruth. In order to avoid attending a wedding, Hilton fibs about needing brain surgery -- and pays a high price. Hilton is always frustrated by everyday deceits, including truth in advertising. Nevertheless, he makes up the lie to avoid attending the Sunday wedding of the son of Ruth's friends, Elaine and Dave, which interferes with his watching sports on television. Pretty soon, he's ensnared in a tangled web of his own making..

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Guard Almighty

0%
November 25, 199630m
1x11

Although Hilton thinks he's going to fight crime in his new job as a security guard, he ends up as a glorified doorman who gets more than he bargained for. After Hilton graduates at the top of his class in security guard training school, he is assigned to his post at a fancy apartment building and is ready to be a crime fighter. Although he quickly learns that the job requires many things not taught in class -- like dealing with precocious young children who won't leave the lobby and walking the tenants' dogs, his professional training comes in handy when a robber breaks into the building on the night of the World Champion New York Yankees celebration party, which is attended by manager Joe Torre and pitcher David Cone (guest starring as themselves) -- only after they prove their identity to the overzealous Hilton!

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The Pilot (Not the Pilot)

0%
November 10, 199730m
2x9

Fasten your seat belts. When Griffin tries to back out of a lucrative out-of-state concert gig because of a flying phobia, Hilton vows that he will get Griffin on the plane - no matter what it takes. When the commercial airline is grounded, Hilton calls on an old airline buddy with a private plane, and they're joined by Jack, who volunteers to underwrite the flight. But thanks to Jack, the pilot passes out, and it's up to Hilton to bring the plane down -- safely.

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