Feeling too old for a bicycle, Howard purchases a "secret" car. Barry is having a spiritual crisis.

Lennie from the pickle factory, who has visions of sailing the canals in a swan boat, unwisely allows Clegg, Truly, Alvin and Billy to help him on his way. But a passing narrowboat puts paid to his dream.

Smiler is more miserable than usual. He's pining for Hermione, a woman he met the night before.

Clegg is trying to remember the name of a particularly obnoxious superior of his, from his days working in the Co-op.

Science-fiction addict Kevin believes aliens from outer space may have landed. Truly, Clegg and Alvin help to convince him he is right.