Susan invites Steve for a date at home, and offers to cook. Jeff warns him about 'The Sock Gap', and Patrick alerts him to her collection of remote controls. Somehow everyone's conversation seems to revolve around Patrick's size, and Jeff is asked by several people to accompany him to the toilet to check.

After watching an embarrassing program on TV with Susan, Steve bumps into his dream celebrity, Mariella Frostrup, in the bar, but it is not the dream encounter he might like, as she pours her drink down his trousers. Jane and Sally's attempt to make friends with her get him into more trouble as he then has to have dinner with Susan's liberal-minded parents, which turns into a nightmare as misunderstandings multiply.

Steve and Susan have had an argument about their future, and Susan storms out of Steve's flat in tears. While Steve tries repeatedly to ring Susan, his courage failing every time, the girls are locked in a debate over the merits of 1471, and what it means if the phone "chirps". Eventually the tension at both ends of the phone gets too much. The boys and the girls set out for "the Temple of Woman': in the girls' case, a beauty salon; in the boys' case, a lap dancing club.