Being fed up with military school, Francis gets himself legally emancipated so he can go north to Alaska with his friend Eric and become a logger. This does not sit well at all with the family.

Trouble finds Reese at his new fast-food job; a new Krelboyne tutors Malcolm; Hal and Lois sabotage Dewey's plan to get a dog.

Back in the general school population, the Krelboyne whiz kids wind up in cliques with jocks, skateboarders and brooding "Goths."

High school's first day vexes Malcolm, who acquires an unfortunate nickname; and Hal, a parental "volunteer" running afoul of authority.

An academic competition faces the Krelboynes in an event Malcolm derides. Especially when he learns his teacher has a cheating plan. Also: a commitment to a formal dance ruffles Reese, who's now trying to ditch his date.

Malcolm chooses Reese as his subject for an Abnormal Psychology mid-term project; Dewey earns some extra cash as a street performer.

When Hal and Lois realize how little time they spend together, Hal turns the garage into a private tiki lounge where he and Lois can retreat. Things go smoothly until they feud over philosophical beliefs. Meanwhile, Mr. Herkabe cons Malcolm into joining the Booster Club, where he learns a lesson about taking one for the team.

Unbeknownst to Lois, the boys enter her in the Mrs. Tri-County Pageant as a joke. When they overhear the other contestants remarking that Lois doesn't have a chance of winning, they plot to help their mother take the crown. Meanwhile, Malcolm is blackmailed into delivering love notes to a contestant for Herkabe, and Reese discovers that, according to the Mrs. Tri-County Pageant manual's scientific formula, he is beautiful.

Lois thinks the new babysitter she found for Jamie is perfect... until she starts driving Lois crazy. Meanwhile, Reese starts getting picked on by the teacher when he and Malcolm are in the same class. However, Malcolm decides to defend him.