When Stan admits that his heroes include the 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey team, Roger confesses that he played on the team; Reginald tries to win over Hayley by taking her to a concert.

After Roger and Francine are victims of a mugging, Roger joins the police academy so he can learn how to defend himself and his loved ones (including Stan and Steve), but he falls in with a corrupt cop (guest voice Cannavale) who leads him astray. Meanwhile, Hayley's new friendship threatens her long-term relationship. Chaz kidnaps and leaves Stan tied up and tape-gagged. Meanwhile, Roger kills Chaz and rescues Stan, who makes his boss happy.

Stan offers a reward to the person who can stop Hayley and her old boyfriend from eloping.

When Stan finally has enough money to afford a membership at the golf club he has worked at for the past thirty summers, his hard work and perseverance prove to be futile when the club gives a membership to Steve first. However, things are not all what they seem when Stan realizes who the club owner really is.

When Stan is overly enthusiastic about his hatred for old people, a hex is placed on him that turns him into a frail, old man. Meanwhile, Roger takes Francine on a road trip to a dance competition, but she soon finds out it's not what she bargained for.

Francine tries to get Stan to spice up their sex life; Hayley tries to get back into dating and accepts a date with Snot.