Josh Elliott as Couldn't Tell You

Episodes 51

Lasers & Quasers

0%
December 27, 2020
1x1

Set in space, this is a jukebox musical and features the best pair of glasses in a movie, best use of cheese and the best supporting act by a sloth.

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I Found It in the Bushes

0%
December 28, 2020
1x2

Set in a beautiful palace, this is a teen vampire movie and features the most unexpected blizzard, most dramatic opening of an umbrella and the best corpse by a corpse.

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Who Bun It

0%
December 29, 2020
1x3

Set in a village church, this is a detective mystery with a cast of animals and features the most intimidating stare down the camera, an actor who is consistently too early and a taxi driver who finds birds hilarious.

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Flat Pack Attack

0%
December 29, 2020
1x4

Set in an Ikea warehouse, this is a horror fantasy movie and features the most inappropriately timed Irish jig, best use of a lemon and the most dramatic eating of a banana. Also starring Delta Von Tussel, who can only speak in rhyming couplets.

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From Russia With Gloves

0%
December 30, 2020
1x5

Set in a rainforest, this is a spy thriller and features the loneliest conga line, the shortest song about mushrooms and the best use of a distant uncle in a plot twist. Also starring Trev, Nev and Bev - one who always tells the truth, one who always lies, and one who breaks into song for no reason. Plus, lots of koalas.

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The Cat in the Habit

0%
Season Finale
December 31, 2020
1x6

Set in a convent, this is a period drama, and features the best product placement in a film, best use of the word 'Alakazam!' and the best use of a pinky promise for dramatic effect.

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Careless Whisper

0%
January 23, 2021
2x1

Set in a library, this is an 80's musical and features the shortest training montage and the most disappointing rap battle. Also starring someone who believes they are ghost and no one can see them.

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The Primary Cape Crusader

0%
January 24, 2021
2x2

Set in a local primary school, this is a superhero origin movie and features the best spontaneous can-can, best use of bragging over something not worth bragging about and plenty of time travel. Also starring Vivian the goblin, who keeps getting their high fives rejected.

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Dressed For Danger

0%
January 27, 2021
2x3

Set backstage at a theatre druing the dress rehearsal for a musical, this is a murder mystery and features the best game of hide and seek and a commercial break during a pivotal moment in the film. Also starring Quickfinger Jimmy, who is convinced he is a western gunslinger after hitting his head.

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A Cop in the Ocean

0%
January 28, 2021
2x4

Set down at the dockyard, this is a buddy cop movie and features the best spontaneous limericks and the worst green screen in a movie. Also starring Clint, who is always riding an invisible horse.

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High Tide School

0%
January 29, 2021
2x5

Set in an American high school, this is a disaster movie and features the most awkwardly timed sea shanty and the best pratfall during a dramatic scene. Also starring Greg - they're definitely not hiding 7 ducks in their trench coat!

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Suicide Squid

0%
January 30, 2021
2x6

Set in an aquarium, this is a superhero movie and features the most poorly themed restaurant, and the most emotional thumb war. Also starring a wannabe mind reader who attempts to predict what other people are about to say but isn't very good at it.

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Now Museum, Now You Don't

0%
January 30, 2021
2x7

Set at the Natural History Museum, this is a heist movie and features the most unfortunately timed phone call from a concerned parent and the best hostage rescue from a location containing no hostages. Also starring Oscar in a cameo role!

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The Wizard of Paddington Station

0%
January 31, 2021
2x8

Set in a railway station, this is a Disney movie and features the most tone deaf barbershop quartet. Also starring Jasper Longlegs where every moment is a time to showcase his catwalk swagger.

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Light Over the Rocks

0%
Season Finale
January 31, 2021
2x9

Set in a lighthouse, this is the origin story of a rock band and features the funniest Chesney Hawkes pun and best choreographed washing up. Also starring Dudley McDiddles who can only speak in riddles.

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The Quest for Escape-a-Lot

0%
February 5, 2021
3x1

Set in Camelot Castle, this is a an escape movie and features the most inappropriate round of applause and the most inappropriate product placement for a stair lift. Also starring, an overconfident farmer who brags about his sheep at every opportunity.

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Wild Feast

0%
February 6, 2021
3x2

Set in Edinburgh, this is a Western zombie movie and features the most dramatic close ups and the most difficult stage entrance. Also starring Fergus Pickles who solves all of life's problems through tickles!

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Lookout!

0%
February 7, 2021
3x3

Set on the Penguin Double-Decker Ship, this is a pirate movie and features the best impromptu ballet routine and most inappropriate use of upbeat music. Also starring Paul Nicks who loves to play pick-up-sticks!

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3x4

Set in Egypt, this is the long-anticipated sequel to Lookout!, featuring the best musical theatre style number. Also starring Olly Bottomdeck who had a crick in his neck, and makes lots of octopus metaphors randomly.

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What's the Pointe?

0%
February 12, 2021
3x5

Set in a prestigious ballet school, this is a Scooby-Doo style mystery and features the most underwhelming reveal and the most unusual way to hail a taxi. Also starring Lenny Clemons and his one whish is for people to appreciate his flower arrangements.

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Enter the Elephant

0%
February 13, 2021
3x6

Set in a carnival, this is a Kung Fu movie and features the best late introduction of a character and the most people taking a bath together. Also starring Steve Peeps, a terrible trainee spy.

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Loved Behind Bars

0%
February 14, 2021
3x7

Set in a Prison, this is a valentines day rom-com and features the least romantic gift and most inappropriate romance during a funeral. Also starring Hope Less, who sees romance in everything.

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Temple of the Red Giraffe

0%
February 18, 2021
3x8

Set in a temple, this is an adventure movie and features the most salacious filing cabinet and the most abrupt tea party. Also starring Terry Marvellous, who believes he is the best magician in the world! Spoiler alert, he's not.

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Nightmare on Bone Street

0%
February 19, 2021
3x9

Set at a dog show, this is an 80's horror-slasher movie and features the most creamy center and the most actors used as furniture. Also starring Freddie Fryer the magically talking tumble dryer!

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Wishing for Wishy-Washy

0%
February 20, 2021
3x10

A brand new pantomime with the message 'Be careful what you wish for'! Featuring a Blue Peter style demonstration on how to make something and the most flirtatious use of maths. Also starring Trevor Noun, the literary wizard!

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Fraud of the Blings

0%
Season Finale
February 21, 2021
3x11

Set in a tower in winter wonderland, this is a fantasy movie and features the most confusing catchphrase and the most characters yodelling in a single scene. Also starring Jimbo Jumbo whose life goal is to become a rainbow!

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Over The Henge

0%
July 1, 2021
4x1

Set during the stone age, this is a historical drama and features the most creative use of the word 'kachow' and the least necessary murder. Also starring Tommy Bahama who doesn't go anywhere without his llama!

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4x2

Set in 'Cheeseland' where everything is made of cheese, this is a murder mystery and features the most alliteration in a single line and the best alternative covid-safe kisses. Also starring Fallulah Ballulah who loves to rhyme!

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Popes on the Ropes

0%
July 3, 2021
4x3

Set in Texas, this is a wrestling movie and features unnecessary mime at a very pivotal moment, the most winking in a single scene and the best shoes in a motion picture.

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4x4

Set during the medieval times, this is a legal drama and features a hard-core metal number all about trees and a cameo from the tech team. Also starring Dapper Stan, a fashionable man!

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Zoo Mania

0%
July 4, 2021
4x5

Set in a zoo, this is an alien invasion movie and features the most romantic rock-paper-scissors battle, the sexiest rendition of 'Marry Had a Little Lamb' and a spectacular fireworks display.

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Singing in the Aisles

0%
July 8, 2021
4x6

Set in the British supermarket Asda, this is a musical and features the best impromptu jazz routine and the most dramatic camera-work during a boring scene. Plus, lots of imaginary stairs!

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A Dice with Death

0%
July 9, 2021
4x7

Set in Las Vegas, this is a murder mystery and features the best opera number and an amazing ventriloquist performance. Also 2 pieces of completely contrasting music!

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Star Paws

0%
July 10, 2021
4x8

Set on Earth with some alien visitors, this is a sci-fi movie and features the best use of interpretive dance and the best lullaby about hats. Also starring Remedy Ron, a budding doctor!

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Angstronauts

0%
July 10, 2021
4x9

Set at the NASA Space School, this is a 2000s teen movie and features an amazing mirror sequence and a cooking show scene. Also starring Wolliam Breakspeare who only speaks in broken Shakespeare!

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4x10

Set in an old abandoned funfair, this is a crime drama and features the most vivacious entrance and the most complicated description of an object without it being named. Also a very aggressive rendition of head, shoulders, knees and toes!

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Abandoned Love

0%
July 15, 2021
4x11

Set in an abandoned school, this is a Hallmark style rom-com and features the a chaotic Zumba session and a very complicated handshake. Also the most dramatic music, in the least dramatic moment!

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Good Guys Finish Last

0%
July 16, 2021
4x12

Set on a cruise ship, this is a superhero horror and features the inner monologues of one of the characters and the most intense use of a musical key change. Also starring the Bad Idea Pandas!

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Ip'Switch it Up!

0%
July 17, 2021
4x13

Set in Ipswich, this is a time travelling musical and features an interruption from a cheerleading squad. Also starring Samantha Sunshine with her dark suggestions and Sidekick Sid, who's always trying to get in on the action!

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Croydonosaurus

0%
July 18, 2021
4x14

Set on the streets of Croydon, this is a monster epic movie and features an amazing 00s boy band song and the most product placement in a single scene. Also a very romantic pottery scene!

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Back to the Tutor

0%
July 22, 2021
4x15

Set at Josephs School, this is a reunion movie and features some brutal advice from grandma and the most grandiose entrance from a background character. Also a very inappropriately timed gameshow!

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Pier Today, Gone Tomorrow...

0%
July 23, 2021
4x16

Set on Southend Pier, this is a high stakes heist and features a disruptive haircut and the most inappropriately timed pratfall. Also starring a character who can summon musical fanfares!

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Set in a warehouse in East London, this is a spy thriller and features the longest greeting and the silliest reason for a parade. Also starring High Q who has a Haiku for every situation!

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Fielding of Dreams

0%
July 24, 2021
4x18

Set on a field in a farm, this is a fantasy film and features the most innovative use of an umbrella and the most spontaneous musical numbers. Also starring Phil & Ann Thropic, who solve any problem with money!

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Fire in the Hole!

0%
July 25, 2021
4x19

Set in an Australian fire station, this is a 70s disaster movie and features a brilliant green screen hot air balloon and the worst metaphors in a movie. Also starring Marcus the loud mime!

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4x20

Set in Aylesbury and at the Newark Olympics, this is a sports film and features a character who thinks they're on a popular tv dating show and an amazing dressage/horse ballet scene. Also starring The Whispering Wild Things, who use only their voices for instruments!

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Hot Swap Buns

0%
July 30, 2021
4x21

Set in a bakery, this is a body swap musical and features the most awkwardly timed cheering and the best group can-can. Also starring Nick Powers, a villain who goes around stealing powers from heroes!

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A Shop'ocalypse Now

0%
July 31, 2021
4x22

The first movie in a trilogy and set on a high street, this is a post-apocalyptic movie and features the most dangerous game of duck, duck, goose and the most unexpected cliffhanger. Also a very elaborate version of the song 'Happy Birthday'!

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A Shop'ocalypse Next

0%
July 31, 2021
4x23

The second movie of the trilogy, this takes place 2 weeks after A Shop'ocalypse Now and features the best lip syncing to another actor and the longest 'giving in your weapons at the door' trope. Also starring Amy Windmill, who won't stop working even though everyone's dead!

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A Shop'ocalypse Then

0%
July 31, 2021
4x24

The third and final movie of the trilogy, it takes place 1 year after A Shop'ocalypse Next. Following the characters as they go back in time to stop the apocalypse from ever happening - also it's now a musical!

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The Day Harry Got Cut in Half

0%
Season Finale
August 1, 2021
4x25

Set in the Scottish Highlands, this is a movie about pre-schoolers putting on a magic show and features the an amazing rap song about apples and the best moonwalk. Also a cameo from Oscar himself!

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