The Convent (2000)

Written by Wuchak on March 19, 2024

Tries too hard

Several college students in SoCal break into a condemned convent for kicks, but its infamous past turns out to be worse than they understood. Havoc ensues.

"The Convent" (2000) is an over-the-top horror/comedy that’s creative, energetic and edgy, but it’s too wannabe ‘hip’ and overcompensates. It’s no where near as bad as “Killer Tongue” (1996) in this regard, but it’s cut from the same cloth. Though only costing $1 million, the special effects are quite good and hold up. Some people don’t like the fast-motion effects for the creatures, but they worked for me.

I get that this is a stylishly cheesy horror flick with a black sense of humor (and a plot ripped-off from “Night of the Demons”), but the story has to hold up for viewers to accept what’s going on to some reasonable degree. Unfortunately, there’s the glaring plot hole of the school staff suddenly showing up one day looking like veritable monsters and the students just go along with it. Hands get beaten to a bloody mess with a yard stick, the ‘nuns’ write "hail Satan" on the board and spew green vomit on students, but none of them informs their parents or the police of what’s going on or, at least, get the Gehenna outta there? Why Sure!

Winsome Joanna Canton is good as protagonist Clorissa and Megahn Perry is effective as the cool Goth girl with a droll sense of humor while Chaton (Itae) Anderson is worth a mention as Sapphira, one of the ‘devil’s disciples.’ Adrienne Barbeau shows up in the last act for a hammy performance. She was 54 during shooting and her body was still in perfect shape.

At the end of the day, this is entertaining to a point with its acknowledged highlights (and more, like Coolio’s amusing cop), but the ‘hip’ frat boys are too annoying and the overall vibe is that of trying too hard to be a cult flick. It was shot in 1999 and I couldn’t help think that this was the tipping point for the decline of America and Western Civilization.

The movie runs 1 hour, 19 minutes, and was shot in Los Angeles.

GRADE: C