Topics scoffed include: Courtney Love acting like an idiot, once again, natch Paris Hilton on FOX's The Simple Life 2 the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Lisa Marie Presley talks about former husband Michael Jackson Fox News producers: what idiots college basketball's March Madness celebrities as United Nation ""hiplomats"" saving the world who's Farnsworth Bentley? why is he in hip-hop videos? what's he selling? and why we care? Jessica Simpson is still dumb when she visited the White House St. Patrick's Day and lots and lots of drinking and more.

Upgrade and downgrade: Celebrity couples.

Who had the best week ever: Robots.

Closing video: ""Tipsy,"" by J-Kwon.

Topics roasted include: director Kevin Smith's new film Jersey Girl Howard Stern fined and Oprah wasn't: for similar verbal gaffe Richard Simmons: slap-happy at the airport the novel Da Vinci Code is still on the best-seller list actor/singer Jada Pinkett Smith opens for Britney Spears in Europe Tom Hanks' new film The Ladykillers Democratic presidential candidate X-treme John Kerry the Brat Back is back, twenty years later, and on television Paris Hilton and Britney Spears almost get hurt off-beat action figures of Donald Rumsfeld, and others, are the rage and more.

Upgrade and downgrade: artist crossovers.

Who had the best week ever: Beyoncé Knowles. Jacqui Malouf said it well, ""This woman is unstoppable.""

Closing video: ""Naughty Girl,"" by Beyoncé Knowles.