It seems "even dead people love Raymond," as reticent Ray learns when he's chosen to deliver the eulogy at his great uncle's funeral. It's an occasion that serves as a reunion for Ray's mother and her feuding sister, Alda.

For a criminal-psychology course, Robert issues standard IQ tests to Raymond and Debra and boy, is Raymond smarting when they get the results. But his feelings change when he discovers that Robert was playing mind games with them by telling each they scored hired than the other.

Although Marie has always cooked the traditional turkey dinner for Thanksgiving, Debra decides it's her turn to prepare the holiday meal, but, not wanting to compete with Marie's turkey, she chooses to serve fish which upsets the apple cart. Marie, feeling threatened when her family thinks Debra's fish idea is perfectly acceptable, decides to bring her own turkey to the dinner party to prove that she's the better cook. Meanwhile, Ray's idea of a traditional holiday at home becomes even more untraditional when the relatives opt not to watch football.

When Debra tries to change Ray's pessimistic attitude about winning the "Sports Writer of the Year Award," he agrees to change his ways and become more upbeat – and suffers the downside of being the only optimist in his family. When Ray finally starts feeling good about himself and his recent accomplishments, his family is surprised by the change in his personality and accuses him of being a "bragger with a swelled head."

Sick of reading Ally the same stories night after night, Debra decides to try her hand at writing a children's book. Feeling great about doing something other than being a mom, she invites Raymond to write the story with her. But Debra sees the other side of her easy-going husband when he turns their little project into an all-out competition - with Ally as the judge.

Feeling left out when he thinks that his father selectively asked his brother to join a Civil War re-enactment, Ray voluntarily enlists for the Battle of Gettysburg. As the men prepare for Battle, a funny thing happens and Ray is finally able to tell Frank that he wishes they did more together. So, although Frank's on the side of the North and Raymond's on the side of the South, the Barone soldiers are able to put their political differences aside and share much more than a Civil War handshake.

Scary monsters in her room send Ally scurrying nightly to the safety of her parents' bed, so sleep-deprived Ray decides it's time to call in an expert -- his mother. But if Debra finds out about his plan, it could be lights out for him.

When six-foot-tall Raymond discovers that he's shrunk a quarter of an inch, the resultant midlife crisis grows until it stretches into "an end-of-life crisis." So, before he gets put six feet under, he decides to make a list of his dreams and goals in life. But when Debra finds him writing his "Things To Do Before I Die" list, she decides to show her husband the proper way to have his crisis. Meanwhile, Marie gets mad at Frank when she discovers that he sold half of their burial plot for a profit.

After Raymond begrudgingly agrees to be the auctioneer at the Our Lady of Faith School auction for new playground equipment, he’s pleasantly surprised with the laughs he gets at Debra’s expense. Debra warns him that she’s going to get even, and then retracts her threat, but it’s too late for Ray — he’s convinced of a conspiracy and terrified of soda in his face, Ben Gay in his shorts or ex-lax in his brownies. Eventually, Debra is able to get her message across — without having to resort to any of those tactics.

When Debra’s mother comes to visit the family for a week, Debra finds herself shocked to discover that she wishes her mom were more like Marie. Debra’s highly anticipated week of “quality time” with her mom, Lois, and the family quickly turns into a big disappointment when her mother seems more interested in the Renoir exhibit and her crossword puzzles than in Debra, Ray and the children. When her frustration with Lois’ disinterest reaches a boiling point, Debra makes the mistake of blurting out that she wishes her mother were more like Marie. Then she has the unfortunate double trouble of making amends with her mom — and dealing not only with Marie’s glee, but also with her claim that she deserves credit for teaching Debra parenting skills.

Just as Frank and Marie are about to embark on a high seas vacation, Frank hurts his knee and Ray, not wanting to disappoint his mother, agrees to accompany her on the Caribbean cruise. It’s endless hours of shuffleboard and bingo and an extremely cramped cabin for two that can barely fit one. Could things get any worse for Ray? Marie, meanwhile, is having the time of her life soaking every ounce of fun in the sun. And back home, Robert is just about out of patience as caretaker for the injured Frank.

After Ray urges Debra to go swing dancing with Robert (letting himself off the hook), he can’t believe how infatuated the two become with their new hobby — and it’s starting to tick him off. Meanwhile, Ray sees a side of Marie that he never fully expected.

The whole family chooses sides when Ray and Debra fight over a newly acquired can opener.

Everyone gets on Ray's case because he's doesn't go to Sunday Mass. When Ray starts feeling guilty about the good example Frank is setting by attending church, he commits to becoming a regular parishioner. After all, if Frank can do it, so can he. But, when Ray shows up at the church, he quickly realizes what it is that draws Frank to this house of worship week after week, and it isn't the sermon.

Ray screws up a ""Hackidu"" trade for his daughter, Ally, by giving away a ""Scramisaur"" card that ends up being worth a lot of money. Ray thinks he's being the perfect father by taking an interest in Ally's ""Hackidu"" hobby and advising her on a card swap. But when he inadvertently gives away her favorite card, he has to pay for his mistake – he just didn't realize how much.

While out for a family dinner, the Barones spot Robert's ex-wife, which prompts them to reminisce about the demise of his marriage. The family tells Amy the truth about Robert's failed marriage to Joanne, whom Frank not-so-affectionately refers to as ""a nutcracker."" The surprise sighting also brings back some personally harrowing memories for Robert – although, when Joanne suggests the ex-spouses get together, Robert seems intrigued.

Ray inadvertently commits ""petslaughter"" on Ally's hamster while Debra and the kids are away for the weekend. When Ray breaks the difficult news to Ally about ""Pumpernickel's"" untimely demise, Debra insists that they give the beloved pet a proper burial -- complete with eulogies -- to help the youngster get through the grieving process. What Ray at first thought was an utterly ridiculous way to mourn the passing of a family pet, ends up being one of the most emotional experiences of his life.

Ray gets sneezed on at the airport and he fears he might have caught something so Debra tries to take care of him but Marie takes over.

Frank is so green with envy that he forces Marco to choose either Marie or him as a friend. Meanwhile, Ray sides with Frank because he doesn't approve of a married woman (especially his mother) having a male friend.

Robert meets a beautiful woman who is a big fan of Ray Barone's sports column. But when the woman mistakes Robert for Raymond, Robert doesn't set her straight. Now, Robert has to involve Ray in a complicated plot to keep the woman from learning Robert's true identity. Ray warns him that this could blow up in his face, but Robert keeps it up so he can get her to like him instead of Ray. As Ray expected, things go wrong when she shows up at Ray's house and she tells Debra, who she thought was dead, that she and Ray are dating.

When Ray learns that Troup Leader Peggy and her daughter have targeted his parents house as a spot to make a big sale for themselves during the Frontier Girls' selling competition, it's war. Ray vows to get even with this woman no matter what and to take home the grand prize in the cookie drive.

Debra decides to run for school president but Ray isn't sure he can handle the twins by himself during all those meetings so he votes against her. She loses and finds out that he voted against her so they get into an argument but her mouth is quickly shut when she reveals that she denied knowing him because he was embarrassing her.

Ray moves his things out of his bathroom and into the kids' bathroom so Debra has more space, but he soon regrets it when his dad and Robert start teasing him and tell him that he is no longer the king of his own house, Debra is.

Raymond's friend Andy tells him that Jerry Musso, a radio talk show host, hates him. While Raymond is in shock over this, Robert enjoys seeing him fall over like this and they fight.

The six-year on-again, off-again relationship between Robert (Brad Garrett) and Amy (Monica Horan) is definitely on again in this pivotal episode. So much so, in fact, that ""Robert wants to propose to Amy,"" says executive producer Philip Rosenthal. But there's one formality the hopeful groom-to-be must take care of first: asking Amy's devout churchgoing folks (Fred Willard, Georgia Engel) for their daughter's hand in marriage. To that end, ""Robert convinces Ray to accompany him to meet her parents in [Pennsylvania],"" says Rosenthal. How they---and possibly Amy---respond determines whether wedding bells will be ringing anytime soon. Peter: Chris Elliott. Frank: Peter Boyle.

Debra and Ray pick out replacement spouses for each other and jealousy starts. Marie announces that Rose, the elderly lady next door, has passed away. Marie is upset because Rose is the woman she'd chosen for Frank if she hadn't died. Debra thinks it would be fun to fantasize about who should take her place and tells Ray she's selected her friend Linda. But then Ray picks Linda's husband Bernie for Debra.

When Michael stays home from school for two days in a row, Ray suspects he simply has homework he hasn't finished. While everyone in the family has an explanation for Michael's sudden aversion to school, Ray decides the tough love approach is the way to go – making Michael spend the day without television, games or comics. When Michael is forced to watch Ray work in his downstairs office, the sheer boredom leads him to finally confide why he doesn't want to return to class.

Fed up with his wife's constant lateness, Ray leaves Debra at home rather than take her to the ESPY Awards. While Debra seethes over Ray's actions, Marie and Amy get into a heated debate with Frank and Robert when they air their own grievances about their wives' blatant disregard for the time.

When the MacDougals are invited to spend Easter with the Barones, the families attempt to bond over a 500-piece puzzle. While members of the Barone and MacDougal families get frustrated with the complicated puzzle, Ray and Pat continue working on it until the wee hours of the night while sharing private stories about themselves and their families. But when Debra, Marie, Robert and Peter find out about Ray and Pat's newfound friendship, jealousy ensues.

After Ally comes home with an ""F"" on her report card, Debra feels she is not paying enough attention. Ray, however, feels it might be the teacher. After a small meeting, Ray goes on how Debra didn't do anything to stick up for Ally and how you should always stick up for your kids. Frank and Marie could relate to Ray's disobediance when he was in high school. But Debra finds out that Ally has a crush on Tommy Sanders, a boy in her class. When Debra confronts the teacher with this, it turns out that the teacher is a mean old bat that doesn't understand the trials kids go through.

Marie is astounded when Franks puts salt on her homemade lasagna, leading her to believe that she's lost her touch in the kitchen. However, Ray and Robert discover that the problem is Frank, who has lost his sense of taste. They believe it's a side-effect from some potency medication Frank is taking, but Frank doesn't want to give it up, and he doesn't want anyone to know he's taking it, especially Marie.

Ray fears getting his adenoids removed, but Debra convinces him to go through with the surgery. At the hospital, while Marie is in the bathroom, the nurse says that Ray isn't waking up from the anesthesia and everyone fears he may die. Fortunately, thirty seconds later, the doctor comes out and says he's just fine. Everyone agrees not to tell Ray or Marie about it; however, Frank ends up telling Marie who rushes over to smother Ray with kisses. Ray finds out about it and begins acting weird as if he thinks he really is going to die. After a couple minutes, he gets out of it. The show closes with the entire family sitting around the table eating and arguing, just like the Barones always have in the past nine years.