Comic hero Alexei Sayle dons his tight suit to deliver high-octane monologues and off-the-wall observations in a six-part series propounding his slanted view of the world. See today's choices.

Alexei Sayle finds out what it's like to be a sex object, uncovers the mysteries of retailing, and advises on the best way to leave a porn shop as he continues his off-the-wall observations.

Alexei Sayle explains how to look like an authentic expert while visiting an art gallery, reveals the true meaning behind some of Shakespeare's works, and takes a look at censorship of the press.

Alexei Sayle reveals that he has been the victim of an alien abduction, but comforts himself with the fact that at least it was a business-class kidnapping rather than the slower, economy-rate snatch. He also delivers insights into celebrity marriages and how they can be a wise career move, particularly if you marry the director-general of the BBC.

Alexi Sayle offers his services to the government as minister for curries, claiming that he would ensure every curry has the "same mouth-burning strength" from Glasgow to Guildford