AMM client Dan Manville is closing in on his 500th home run. Add that to the 500 stolen bases he's already chalked up, and he's the charter member of the 500/500 club. Arliss has everything in position for the "500/500 Experience," a huge Manville memorabilia tour on wheels, coming to a mall near you. All that's left for Manville to hit his 500th dinger--and for Arliss to get the ball.

Arliss tries to get a dotcom millionaire team owner to re-sign an aging broadcaster who may be losing his touch. Rita ghostwrites a column for Arliss, and Kirby helps discipline Stanley's unruly dog.