When his kids return home from school with a collage entitled ""The Shame,"" Eric is shocked at the damage his repeated failure in school cricket matches is having on his children. This year, he resolves to do better...

How hard can it be to find a working toilet in Europe's greatest metropolis? Eric is about to find out. Meanwhile back at home, Claire needs a costume for her school project, which leads Maria into open conflict with the Perfects.

In an effort to woo the mother of his daughter's best friend, Eric agrees to let the kids camp out in the back garden. Unfortunately, his daughter's friend suffers from a plethora of allergies - which inevitably leads to disaster.

Brian has his first crush, which is particularly unfortunate as it's on Heather Perfect. Is she out of his league? Perhaps the school fete will give him the chance to impress her...

Eric is alarmed when he discovers a pornographic magazine which he believes belongs to Brian, and even more so when he discovers that it in fact belongs to Maria the au pair - and she's the centrefold! He sacks Maria and looks for a new au pair. Meanwhile Maria gives up drinking and undergoes an extraordinary transformation...

Eric's boss P.P develops a crush on Sherry the salad girl from the canteen. He over-promotes her and Eric is made responsible for her mistakes.