King John aims to tunnel to Scunthorpe but the locals are horrified as Scunthorpe dwellers have two heads. Rose and Guy aim to raise cash with a phoney ransom by pretending that Marian has kidnapped Guy,who goes off to the forest. As part of the plan Marian and Rose are tied together and are pelted with mud by the villagers,who assume they are a two-headed monster from Scunthorpe.

Fed up with the merry men's sexist attitudes Marian quits the gang and teams up with Rose, who is selling home improvements, including a flat pack extension for the castle in which John can put Guy's many toys. Rose, of course, is planning to deliver Marian and her men to the sheriff and lures them into the dungeons. However Marian escapes and ends up in the extension, which promptly collapses. Feeling ashamed of themselves the lads invite Marian back as their leader though Rose prefers to stay in the dungeons rather than become their au pair.

The gang are suffering from insomnia and keeping everybody else awake so Gladys gives them a cure, Sleepy Cake, though it only succeeds in making them look like the Beatles. Gladys says her father knows a cure but he is a prisoner in King John's castle so the merry men set out to rescue him.They get him out, though not only do Marian and Robin get caught in the process but the old boy wants to go back to the castle as he is used to being a prisoner.

King John hires a man who is Robin's exact double to do bad things around Worksop, thereby discrediting him and the outlaws. However he is rumbled by Marian who persuades him to work with the merry men and a dead ringer for the sheriff and make Robin popular again. With the job done the look-alike sheriff gets somewhat carried away and heads to the castle to attack King John, making life difficult for his double.

After the castle is attacked King John decides to abdicate in favour of Guy. He goes off to the outlaws' hideout where Robin, hoping the king will leave him money, entertains him. However the king eats the merry men out of house and home to Marian's annoyance.Guy is an extremely childish ruler and the sheriff is tired of his infantile demands. He thus forges an unlikely alliance with Marian and the merry men, whereby they use giant puppet dinosaurs to frighten Guy into abdicating. However John likes it so much in the hideout he refuses to leave.

Rabies falls asleep, causing the outlaws to miss an ambush but, on waking, he sees a boat purchased by the king at a boat show. The merry men steal it and take it to Scarborough to push off the cliffs, in the process landing in a parallel universe where nice princesses Rose and Guya have been usurped by a witch who looks like Gladys and an ogre who is a ringer for Snooker. Rabies becomes a hero when he steals Gladys's magic wand and turns her into a box of tissues and Snooker into a set of place mats.