Takes place a few days after the first episode. Tess's apartment is robbed, and she comes to the guys for help. While they make sure that her apartment is safe, Randy takes the opportunity to steal her diary so that he can find out more about her and what she wants in a man. Everyone except Cal tells Randy he shouldn't have done that. P.J. keeps telling everyone that his dog is named after them so that they will like him.

Mrs. Thorne, the woman whose cable they were stealing, dies and the guys lose cable. Tess gets a part as Commander Farcus of Planet Shiksod on Star Trek: Voyager (her first speaking part-- gets incinerated moments after touching the planet's surface: ""Don't point that at me, AAIIGGHHHH""). They want Cal to tap into someone else's cable so that they can watch Tess on TV. Iowa wants to get cable legally and is willing to spend his day off waiting for the cableman. The ""cableman"" comes and steals their TV, followed by the real cableman. Iowa goes to buy another TV, and spends $200 on a set that turns out to be their old TV.

Also, Cal steals clean underwear (38 Wide BVD) from the laundry room and Jenkins, the person he stole it from, comes looking for it. He is obsessed with finding the thief, and even tries to buy tracking equipment. Cal eventually encounters Jenkins in the laundry room, and taunts him.

Facing another dull Friday night, the guys decide to have a poker night. Randy invites Tess, but she is going on a blind date. To show that he isn't weak, Johnny doesn't go to his mother's house for dinner and plays poker with the guys. Tess flees her blind date and shows up to play with them. Iowa's girlfriend Julie calls to remind him that it is their fifth anniversary together, and that they had agreed to either get engaged at this point or break up. Iowa isn't sure what to do, and calls her to tell her that he isn't ready for marriage, but instead ends up setting a wedding date of April 16. While showing Randy pictures of him and Julie, Randy points out that Iowa has a pained expression in all of them. Meanwhile, Johnny's mother has sent a policeman and a priest after him. Iowa calls Julie again to tell her that he isn't ready, and she gives him another week to decide.

The guys are antsy because it's been snowing for days, and they feel cooped up. P.J. has been watching more TV than usual and becoming really odd. They decide to throw a ""Summer in February"" party to force P.J. to interact with people, and to perk themselves up. Cal gets excited and barbeques on the terrace during the party, and ends up getting hypothermia. Johnny spends the whole evening unsuccessfully hitting on one woman. Unfortunately, P.J. hides in the subway during the party. Tess comes to the party with her acting teacher, an obnoxious daytime soap star. While in the subway, P.J. meets Sandra Lefkowitz, a mime, and brings her to the party, where she promptly clears the house.

P.J.'s father is in town again and wants to meet him for dinner. Cal cheats Hansen out of an account, and Steve wants him to go to Miami with him to make the presentation. Cal oversleeps and misses his flight. When Steve is about to fire him, Nancy informs Steve that his mother just died, and Cal is saved. P.J., Tess, Iowa, Randy, and Johnny go to meet P.J.'s father for dinner, but he missed his flight and won't be there. P.J. is picked up by Rita at the restaurant, and has a one-nighter with her. The next day his father comes by the apartment to tell him that he is getting married, and introduces Rita as his fiancee. P.J. gets upset, and is worried that Rita is a gold-digger. When he confronts his dad, it turns out that his father is broke, and that Rita has ""great big piles of money."" Cal crashes the funeral, and afterwards thinks that his performance, which included jumping into the open grave singing ""You are the Wind Beneath my Wings,"" got him fired. However, Steve was so impresse