John's girlfriend turns out to be married -- when her husband confronts John with a gun; Mahalia's estranged husband arrives.

Thanks to John's contest-winning, double-edged essay, Mahalia is named Mother of the Year and faces a custody battle for her kids. The article spurs a home visit from a suspicious child welfare investigator (guest Adams) -- just when taskmaster ""El Capitan"" John is babysitting -- and a custody hearing in which Mahalia and John face off against Mahalia's ex, Stewie, Sr.