Veridian Dynamics tries matchmaking employees based on their genetic compatibility in hopes of saving on health insurance bills from imperfectly bred children. Ted and Linda balk at this until they meet their supposed matches -- Greg for Linda and Danielle for Ted -- and are instantly attracted despite themselves. Meanwhile, after Veronica finds out Lem is her perfect genetic match, she hounds him to make a donation to a sperm bank

When a wave of layoff hits Veridian and little Rose seems to have inside info because of a friend in her Hive playgroup, Veronica tries to pump her for information, much to Ted's disapproval. Meanwhile, Linda is elated to sell her first children's book -- until someone points out that her lead character, a lemur, is the spitting image of Phil -- and Lem starts a passionate affair with one of the company lawyers, only to find out that his paycheck is being docked for the "billable hours" he's spending with his new girlfriend.

When Veronica's sexy magician boyfriend Mordor comes to town and she starts slacking off at work big time, Ted tries to interfere in her love life to get her back on track. Meanwhile, Lem is perplexed when he is mysteriously given a bright red lab coat while everyone else has plain white ones... Is someone at Veridian trying to tell him something?

When a misunderstanding leads oddball Sheila to falsely accuse both Ted and Linda of sexual harassment, Veronica comes up with a solution to avoid having them punished. She convinces Veridian to classify sexual harassment as a disease so anyone accused of it can't be held responsible. But when the employees get wind of the new rule, things start to get a little crazy in the office.

Ted romances a beautiful German executive who can't speak a word of English. It doesn't matter Veridian is developing a translation device for her company, enabling the two to communicate. The problem is, the voice of the device is Phil's, which ruins the mood for Ted.

Phil and Lem embark on a quest to gain respect around the office, Veronica goes on a reluctant treasure hunt inside the Veridian building, and Ted has to confront rumors of staff favoritism.