Joyce Van Patten as Maureen Slattery

Episodes 35

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Pilot

1x1
January 11, 1995

It's been two weeks since Jennifer kicked Jack out of the house, and Ryan only just notices. He's just rented an apartment for himself and Jennifer gives him his pillow, blue quilt, a fork, a knife, and his orange juice glass to take with him. Ross gives him his stuffed bunny, Mr. Floppy. He takes Mr. Floppy to his apartment, and he's so screwed up that Mr. Floppy starts to talk to him. Ryan and Tiffany learn to take advantage of being products of a broken home at school. Jack steals back his high school leather jacket from Jennifer while she is out on a date. She comes over to his apartment because she can't sleep with out him next to her, and they end up having sex.

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January 18, 1995

After failing to get one of the three VCRs (even the one that requires you to continuously press the ""play"" button) from Jennifer in the divorce, Jack sells his car to an old lady and buys himself a new one. Mr. Floppy gets excited because they can watch porno (Natural Born Hooters). Jennifer gets upset because it's their first marriage anniversary after the break up, and Jack forgets what day it is. Jennifer invites Jack over for dinner and cons him into feeling that they ought to exchange gifts, and he gives her the new VCR, while she gives him the crappy one. Mr. Floppy gets mad at Jack for giving away the new VCR, and Jack makes the mop and pizza box talk to demonstrate that he doesn't need Mr. Floppy.

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January 25, 1995

Mr. Floppy thinks that Jack should start dating. While Jack, Jennifer, Ryan, and Tiffany go to Howe High's back to school night, Jack tries to send out ""the vibe"" to the women there. Amazingly he gets a date with Miss Taylor (Ryan's Civics Teacher), whom all the male teachers and students, and half the female teachers are after. Jennifer agrees to lend Jack the car for the date, but is less than supportive of him. When Jack comes to pick up the car, Jennifer and the car aren't there-- she and Maureen have taken it to the otherside of the block. Jack ends up meeting Miss Taylor 3 hours late, and Ryan's friend the paperboy ends up going home with her.

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In order to become more successful at attracting a new man, Jennifer wants Jack to buy her new breasts. When he refuses, she tries to sell her engagement ring and finds out it is glass and 14 karat goldette, and becomes upset. Jack, against the wishes of Mr. Floppy, decides to sell his autographed baseball in order to buy her a new ring. Jennifer tells him that the ball was really autographed by her mother. Jack and Jennifer have sex at the end of the episode.

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Jack the Ripper

1x5
February 8, 1995

Since Jack's boss (Jennifer's father) won't give him a car, he decides to buy a moped. Jennifer finally convinces her mother, who came six weeks ago for a two week visit, to go home. As Maureen walks out the door, Jack runs into her with the moped, which of course causes her to continue staying with Jennifer. Jennifer decides that in order to prevent Maureen from suing Jack and getting all of Jennifer's stuff, that Jack should call her ""mom"" (which he has never done). Features a wonderful daydream medley of scenes where Jack imagines killing Maureen at various stages in his life.

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Run

1x6
February 15, 1995

Jennie, Ross, and Ryan are sick in bed with colds, and Tiffany has two days until the Alphi Pi Psi party at the local university, where she plans to mingle with the geeks since ""today's big dufus is tomorrow's Bill Gates."" Jennifer calls Jack over so that he can pick up food and tampons, and get the car from the mechanic. Mr. Floppy makes Jack to take him along so that he won't be bored in the apartment, and then convinces Jack to escape to Mexico. Jack turns back home after a ""conscious attack,"" gets yelled at for buying the wrong flavor lollipops, and is stopped from running to Mexico again because he ran out of gas in the driveway. Jack and Jennifer have sex in the front seat of the car at the end.

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February 22, 1995

Jennifer is appalled by Jack's, Ryan's, and Ross' table manners, while Jack becomes upset when he learns that Ryan does the dishes and the laundry. Jack encourages him to fight against his emasculation, and Ryan then refuses to do the laundry, so Jennifer kicks him out. Ross is later deposited at Jack's after using the guest soaps in the bathroom. Jack tries to teach the boys how to revel in their maleness, while Jennifer, Tiffany, and Maureen enjoy the silence of a house devoid of belching, and exchange stories about the ""gelding of men."" For want of food, Jack and the boys raid Jennifer's garbage for left overs and then get food poisoning. After being retrieved from the hospital by the women, the three are made to do the dishes in frilly aprons. Don't miss Tiffany getting hot talking about the riches she will acquire from her man-- ""Oh, stocks, diamonds and porkbellies oh my!""

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March 1, 1995

Jennifer wants to get into the Betty Ford Clinic so that she can meet a rich drunk, and tells Jack he'll have to take the kids when she is away for the week. He'll have to pay for her visit or he'll have the kids forever. Jack takes the kids for the night and Ross cuts off Mr. Floppy's foot so that he can have a good luck charm to break his string of bad luck. Ryan steals the foot from Ross, and uses it get a date with Cindy Stalling (whom he dreams of every night). Moments later Tiffany steals it from him, and he promptly loses Cindy, but Tiffany finds a diamond ring in her sandwich. Jennifer gets tips from Maureen on how to fit in at the Clinic. Jennifer takes the foot from the kids and won't give it to Jack because it got her into Betty Ford. Jack unsuccessfully tries to offer Mr. Floppy a new foot from a different stuffed animal, then breaks into Jennifer's house and gets noticed by everyone. Never the less, he steals the foot from Jennifer, and she promptly gets bumped from the Cl

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March 15, 1995

Jennifer is depressed because she can't get a date, and wants to be lusted after. When Jack takes the rest of his stuff out her basement, she decides to fix up the house. She hires Matt, a twenty year old who just moved into Jack's building, who was captain of the football, baseball, and basketball teams in high school. When Jack tells Jennifer that Matt has a habit of sleeping with the women he works for, Jennifer goes after him. Tiffany gets really aroused by him, and Jennifer forces her to stay away from him so that she won't have to compete. After Matt shows no interest in her, and runs off with Mrs. Wilson, who has a big butt and four chins, Jennifer complains to Jack that she isn't attractive.

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Mistress Jennie

1x10
March 22, 1995

Jennifer goes out with Gavin Drake, ""Picture Framer of the Stars,"" and falls for him because it's the best date she has had so far. Tiffany and Ryan learn that he is a married man at school lunch because he is the father of Chelsea, one of their friends. They tell Jack, and he gets excited because he'll get to crush Jennie by telling her, and it'll be the best thing that has happened to him all year. Mr. Floppy wants him to wait telling her so that he can get gossip about Shannon Doherty out of Gavin. Jack doesn't get to tell her because Gavin asks her to be his mistress. Jeannie seriously considers it, but breaks up with him because it would be too much for her conscience.

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May 3, 1995

Tiffany wants to spend the night at the lake with her friends, including her date Beau. Jack forbids her because he still sees her as a little girl, and does not want her to be taken advantage of. Ryan keeps trying to talk to Jack about his own date, whom he describes as older, an occultist, and criminally insane, but both Jack and Jennifer ignore him. Later, Jack feels about forbidding Tiffany to go, but both Mr. Floppy and Jennifer agree that he made the right decision. Tiffinay then sweet-talks Jack into allowing her to spend the night at the lake. Jennifer gets mad, and they go out in an attempt to retrieve Tiffany

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May 10, 1995

Jennifer is chaperoning Tiffany's spring dance. Tiffany is in charge of planning the dance, and has invested the funds into war-oriented stocks. Unfortunately, peace breaks out and her investments go bad. Jack has to return his new J. Bean wardrobe (that Mr. Floppy says makes him look like a gay-boy) in order to help fund the dance. Jennifer makes Jack help her with and take her to the dance. Ryan ends up with 10 dates because the girlfriends of the football team want to get even with the team for getting a stripper the week before. The theme of the dance is ""The O.J. Trial Under the Stars,"" and Barry wins Queen of the Prom.

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Hoop Dreams

1x13
May 17, 1995

After winning $200,000 playing Monopoly, Ryan thinks he might have a future as a business tycoon and starts to act and dress the part. After Amber's father is mauled by a dog, Jennie is chosen to be the speaker for ""Face the Future"" day at Ryan and Tiffany's high school. She guilts the kids into going, and tells Jack that he has to go as well. Unfortunately, it conflicts with his weekly basketball game. Jack leaves notes all over his apartment to remind himself to go, but ends up forgetting anyway.

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Jack Moves Back

2x1
September 6, 1995

Jack moves back in to the house for the sake of the kids, but must live in the basement until he can win Jennie back.

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September 13, 1995

When Tiffany gets a zit and Ryan sets the scale to ten pounds more than normal, Tiffany tries to develop a personality and Jennie starts jogging. Jennie becomes Vicky Vixen on the Internet, and Ryan finds that Vicki Vixen has the hots for him.

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The Rat

2x3
September 20, 1995

Jack leaves Jennie's room for the basement because she won't let him have his ways, but he finds a giant rat in the basement and makes the kids get rid of it.

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Rocky VI

2x4
September 27, 1995

When Jennie gets in a fight with Susan, a neighbor, she has Jack fight Vic, Susan's husband.

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Rock Star

2x5
October 4, 1995

When Jennie gets a date with Ray Paul Jones, her teen crush, she gives Jack the right to fantasize about a celebrity. Jack picks Cindy Crawford and gets arrested for stalking her.

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October 11, 1995

Disasters occur when Jack teaches Ryan and Tiffany how to drive.

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October 25, 1995

Jennie gets a glass table on Ross's ninth birthday and throws everyone out of the house for getting the table dirty.

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November 8, 1995

When the family earns 40,000 frequent flyer miles, Jack wants to go to Las Vegas and Jennie wants to go to Hawaii. Meanwhile, Tiffany gets in a fight with Patty, a cheap girl who Ryan is in love with.

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November 15, 1995

When Ryan gets all D's and F's on his report card, Jennie says he can't have the car keys until he gets a B, so he makes a deal with Miss Taylor, his Civics teacher. Meanwhile, Jack tries to figure out why Ryan is so dumba nd Tiffany begins to suspect that the mailman is her father.

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November 22, 1995

Tiffany thinks Jack doesn't trust her when he doesn't let Tiffany go in her room with Mike, her boyfriend.

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The Whiz Kid

2x11
November 29, 1995

When Ryan starts taking urine tests for football players, he gets a lettered jersey and the respect of a football player. Meanwhile, no one notices Tiffany, because of Ryan being on the football team, when she gets the highest SAT scores in the school and becomes a national merrit scholar.

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Hot Wheels

2x12
December 20, 1995

After Tiffany and Ryan take Jack's car to a party without his permission, Jack and Jennie pretend the car is stolen, until it actually is.

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January 10, 1996

After seeing a movie, Jennie takes the family to a picnic to bond. But the picnic trip is soon ruined by gophers, poison ivy, and pesticide.

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Meter Maid

2x14
January 31, 1996

Jack is thrown in jail when Jennie punches a meter maid. Jennie won't bail Jack out and things are terrible around the house without him.

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In the Stars

2x15
February 7, 1996

When the family becomes obsessed with horoscopes, Ryan looks for a girl and Jennie tries to be nice.

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Mr. No

2x16
February 14, 1996

Tiffany is disturbed when Danny, a boy, doesn't want to go to the Valentine's Dance with her. Ryan plans on taking Ms. O'Hara, his chemistry teacher, but she blows herself up. Mr. Floppy sends obscene mail to Pamela Anderson.

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February 21, 1996

Jack uses his height to beat Ryan at basketball for the 2001st time.

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All About Jennie

2x18
February 28, 1996

Jennie relives her high school days when Tiffany is cast as Juliet in Romeo and Juliet. Jack helps Ryan practice his one line for the play.

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Jack Writes Good

2x19
May 1, 1996

Jack starts writing stories that are really Floppy's and gets a big break, but later tries doing his own writing.

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May 8, 1996

Tiffany isn't the smartest girl in the class anymore when she is put into a smarter class.

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Leaving Van Nuys

2x21
May 15, 1996

It's summer break Ryan has just finished his senior year. After Ryan gets fired from the used car lot, Jack threatens to kick him out of the house if he doesn't get a job. So Ryan goes to Cheeseburger Community College, but finds he must repeat his senior year. Jack tries to keep the family out of the basement and works the night shift so he doesn't have to deal with the kids.

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May 22, 1996

After taking Jack's advice, Ryan becomes engaged to Crystal, a thirty year old woman with two kids.

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