Veda Walkman, a new intern from a job placement program is sent to work for Suzanne. Suzanne, Sissy, and Natty resent the fact that Veda makes them all feel old, despite the fact she claims not to be a ""Generation X-er"" (as Natty says: ""She may not be cruising the internet, but she's going to those Nine Nails concerts--or whatever that is""). So they each take her out to dinner with the intentions of firing her, but each backs down when they realize how sweet and vulnerable she is (""She kind of reminds me of Bambi-- Bambi in combat boots with a toilet mouth""). Meanwhile Sissy steals a plant from Newt Gingrich's office and gives it to Natty as a birthday present, beginning a practical-joke-war between the pair, which culminates with a jack-ass in the office.

Suzanne and Sissy try out a new indestructible pantyhose line. Natty comes down with the flu on the same weekend that she's supposed to spend in the conjugal cottage with her imprisoned lover, Congressman Ed Sharkey. So that he won't lose the privilege of using the cottage, Natty sends Sissy to spend the weekend with Ed. Conflicts soon arise when Sissy finds that she is very attracted to Ed, so she calls Suzanne in to take her place. After Ed spends the evening ignoring her, Suzanne decides that she's more attractive than Sissy and Natty combined, and she deserves the ""chance to slap"" his face--so she gives him a sample of what he's missing out on--and ends up inadvertantly burning the Conjugal Cottage to the ground.

Suzanne, Sissy, and Natty take a business trip to Alaska to investigate the spawning habits of the Alaskan Salmon, where each woman finds the man of her dreams. But when Suzanne's man gives her a cubic zirconium that he claims is a diamond, they wonder if these men are as dreamy as they appear.

After Congresswoman Seizmore of the Ethics Committee attacks her character and launches an investigation of her personal activities, Suzanne inadvertently blurts out that she has a diary, which Seizmore has subpoenaed. But Suzanne is unwilling to part with her diary because it has her weight written in it for each day, so she tries to get her best friend who has come for a visit, Anthony Bouvier, to dispose of it for her. Realizing that Suzanne will never grow up, Anthony finally agrees to take a Carnival Cruise and throw the diary overboard, not realizing that Kathie Lee Gifford was shooting a commercial. The diary hits Regis Philbin on the head and he announces Suzanne's weight on national television the next morning on their mutual talk show, Live With Regis and Kathie Lee.

When Congress does a hearing on the dangers of violence towards women in television and film, the women find themselves watching hour after hour of movies like ""Boxing Helena"", ""Nine 1/2 Weeks"", etc. Natty tries a new haircut--which when it ends up looking more inflated than Suzanne's, makes her weep hysterically since she has an upcoming conjugal visit with her imprisoned lover. Then the four women are accused of sexually harassing the men that they are reviewing the films with. During the congressional hearing, Suzanne encourages the moviemakers to get together and make a final blowout movie that she called ""Stab Me, Rape Me, Kill Me, Eat Me."" With the help of a bevy of female celebrities, they try to make the movie-makers see that films can be made without depicting violent situations toward women.