Tim thinks wearing a Cinderella dress during March Madness is good luck, so he refuses to take it off in hopes his alma mater will win. Also, Greg fantasizes about what to write in a birthday card for his boss, Tyler goes to prom and must withstand unsolicited advice from his parents and grandparents, and Jen sets Matt up on a blind date with her coworker, Dougie.

When John decides to try out for "Survivor," Tim gets jealous and attempts to undermine his audition tape. Also, Colleen confesses she can't swim when she and Matt discuss Hawaii as a honeymoon destination; Jen pretends to get hooked on meditation so she can use the time to play cell phone games; and Heather gives Sophia the "sex" talk.

When Colleen goes to Tim for help with an embarrassing ailment, she begs him not to tell the family. Also, Dougie enlists Joan to help her buy a gift for Matt and Colleen's wedding. Heather gets jealous when her friends want to include Jen in their group.

The holiday spirit is alive, well and wildly different for each member of the Short family.

Heather asks Tyler and Tim to buy a bra for Samantha; Joan asks Jen to submit a recipe for the family cookbook, prompting Jen to steal one from her favorite restaurant; John gets Samantha and Sophia hooked on gambling.

When Tim gets a toupee, the family try their best to hide their horrified reactions; Jen fights for face time with her boss; Joan decides to retire; Greg and Matt build a playhouse for the kids.