Hank Patterson as

Episodes 28

Neighborliness

0%
October 27, 1965
1x7

Oliver is frustrated because, among other problems, his new plow won't arrive in time for planting season. Uncle Joe has a solution that, naturally, benefits him as well. He charges farmers one dollar each to enter a plowing contest, promising them free lunch and big prizes. This is all news to Oliver as the neighbors on their tractors start descending on his farm.

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You Can't Plug in a 2 with a 6

0%
November 10, 196530m
1x9

It's planting time in Hooterville and Oliver is shocked that the locals make their crop choices based on aches and pains. Back on the farm, Oliver assigns every electrical device a number from one to seven in an effort to keep their creaky generator from blowing. All gadgets up to a total of seven can be plugged in at the same time, but Lisa can't quite grasp the concept.

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What Happened in Scranton?

0%
December 22, 1965
1x14

Lisa is shocked that Hooterville doesn't have a beauty salon. She calls her mother-in-law who ships out her hair dresser, Claude. (She blackmails him with one word: "Scranton".) Setting up shop on the Cannonball, he gives the Hooterville women new hairdos. Now, they're too "beautiful" for farm work.

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How to Enlarge a Bedroom

0%
December 29, 1965
1x15

After Lisa delivers an ultimatum, Oliver hires incompetent carpenters Alf and Ralph Monroe to enlarge the tiny bedroom. The Monroes have just begun moving the walls when the building inspector, the father of Eb's girlfriend, "disapproves" the project and condemns the whole house. Oliver is left with an open air bedroom without a roof.

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The Price of Apples

0%
February 9, 196630m
1x20

Oliver will make considerable more on his apple crop if he gets his to market first. He hires local highschoolers to pick the fruit and uses their old truck to haul them. As the rickety truck suffers numerous breakdowns, the apple prices begin to drop. Finally, Lisa's hotscakes come to the rescue.

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The Day of Decision

0%
February 23, 196630m
1x22

Lisa agreed to try out Green Acres for six months. Today's the day she decides whether to stay in Hooterville or return to New York. Everyone anxiously awaits her decision. In the meantime, Oliver flashes back to their first days on the farm, his physical mishaps around the house, and Haney's lousy products.

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A Pig In a Poke

0%
March 9, 196630m
1x23

Oliver is invited to New York to be the guest speaker at a Harvard alumni banquet but he arrives with an unexpected stowaway. Meanwhile, the Ziffels fear that they'll lose Arnold to Mr. Haney, who's trying to take the pig in lieu of a debt that he claims the Ziffels owe him.

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The Ballad of Molly Turgis

0%
April 6, 1966
1x26

Oliver wants to write a folk song about local legend Molly Turgis, a woman so ugly she was run out of Hooterville. Facts are hard to come by, though, because the mere mention of her name causes bad to happen. Lisa feels sorry for Molly and offers to give her a make-over.

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Never Look a Gift Tractor in the Mouth

0%
April 27, 196630m
1x27

Lisa wants to surprise Oliver with a new tractor for his birthday. To keep it out of sight, she has it delivered to the Ziffels' farm. The old couple mistakes it as a gift from Mrs. Douglas, leading Doris to think that Fred and Lisa are having a torrid affair.

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Send a Boy to College

0%
May 4, 196630m
1x28

Eb's talent for curing sick animals leads the Douglases to send him to veterinarian school. Unfortunately, his college career is short-lived due to one small oversite.

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Wings Over Hooterville

0%
September 14, 1966
2x1

Lisa tells the story of how she and Oliver met. During WWII, Oliver's plane was shot down and he was stranded in a tree. Lisa rescues Oliver, but doesn't trust him because he ""spends more time talking than smooching"". After Lisa's story, the farmers of Hooterville discover their crops are being destroyed by some unknown insect. Mr. Kimball identifies it as the ""Bing Bug"". The farmers appoint Oliver to dust all the crops, but not being in the cockpit for years causes trouble for Oliver in Mr. Haney's cheap plane.

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Water, Water Everywhere

0%
September 21, 1966
2x2

Mr. Haney has Willie the well-witcher to witch him a new well. But when Mr. Haney has plenty of water, Oliver loses his water. The same thing happens when Oliver has a new well witched, then the Ziffels run out of water. When they get a new well, then Mr. Drucker runs out of water. Oliver decides that Hooterville should open a reservoir. Soon afterwards, everyone has enough water, but when everyone turns on their faucets, they lose their electricity.

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2x3

When the Ziffels go on a second honeymoon at Niagra Falls, they leave Arnold with Oliver and Lisa. While there, Arnold is drafted by the U.S. Army.

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One of Our Assemblymen is Missing

0%
October 26, 1966
2x6

Oliver's back on his soap box, delivering fiery patriotic speeches after getting a bill for the State Farm Unattached Duty Tax. No one in Hooterville seems to know what the tax is for, so Oliver tries to contact his assemblyman. That's when he learns Hooterville hasn't held an election for one since 1922. He and Lisa travel to the state capital to meet the governor and remedy the situation.

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You Ought to Be in Pictures

0%
November 23, 1966
2x10

James Stuart from the agricultural department wants to do a film on the pitfalls of new farmers. The locals think "Jimmy Stewart" is coming to make a big Hollywood movie so they all enroll in Haney's acting school. In the meantime, Oliver's farming practices prove especially embarrassing for the camera.

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An Old Fashioned Christmas

0%
December 21, 196630m
2x13

Oliver decides to have an old fashioned Christmas by chopping down a tree off his property. Mr. Haney warns him that it's against the law to chop down a tree on his own property.

So Oilver goes to Drucker's & asks Sam if there's such a law as that. Mr. Drucker tries to sell him an artificial tree with a squirter to squirt the pine ooze out as well as artificial candy canes & popcorn string. Mr. Drucker advises him to get a permit from Hank Kimball, County Agent.

After getting the permit, he finally gets to decorate his tree.

Over @ the Ziffels, Doris is upset that Arnold has an artificial tree & tells Fred that Mr. Douglas had the right idea.

The gang attends the Douglas home to admire the Christmas tree. But they are chased away when Lisa brings out the fruitcakes made out of hotcakes!

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Never Trust a Little Old Lady

0%
December 28, 1966
2x14

It's tomato planting season and Oliver needs some useful weather information. Hooterville relies on WPIXL-TV's Mildred, a little old lady who prances out of her dollhouse, or Walter, the singing weatherman. Both are constantly wrong so Oliver contacts the Weather Bureau which predicts warm days and nights. With the plants in the ground, Hooterville suffers the coldest night of the year. Incredibly, it's Lisa's crepe suzettes that save the crop from the cold.

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His Honor

0%
January 11, 1967
2x16

Oliver misunderstands when the Hooterville bigwigs ask him to be a judge. He thinks he's being appointed an appellate judge but they just want him to judge apples at the county fair. The Douglases travel to New York so Oliver can get some judging advice while Lisa shops for a robe and wig for His Honor.

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Exodus to Bleedswell

0%
January 25, 1967
2x18

The residents of Hooterville flock to nearby Bleedswell for jobs at the new defense plant. To keep people from leaving, Hooterville reopens its old airplane factory to fulfill its contract with the Army--signed during WWI.

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It's Human to Be Humane

0%
February 1, 1967
2x19

Bored and looking for a project, Lisa becomes the head of the "Hooterville Human Humane Committee". She takes her cause to the extreme, declaring everything from duck hunting to selling chicken eggs off limits. Soon, the Douglases house is a zoo and the locals are ready to run her out of town.

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2x20

The only thing Oliver learns at a farming convention is how to get a hangover. He and Lisa meet up with Charlie, a former gangster-turned-farmer, and Wanda, his floozy dancer wife. The more Charlie talks about his farm, the more Oliver's convinced that his shady days are not in the past.

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The Computer Age

0%
February 15, 1967
2x21

A desperate Ralph Monroe joins a computer dating service to meet a husband. Oliver thinks it's a great idea since computers are always right. Lisa thinks they can't possibly take the place of romance, so she challenges Oliver to test their match-up on the electric brain.

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Oliver has to choose between being a farmer or lawyer when he gets an offer to practice in Washington, D. C. The official-looking letter, however, has the locals convinced that Oliver is hiding an juicy secret from them. After ruling out tax cheat and counterfeiter, that leaves only one choice: CIA agent.

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Lisa's Vegetable Garden

0%
March 8, 1967
2x24

According to Oliver, every farm wife should be growing her own vegetables so Lisa starts her own garden. Armed with useless pamphlets from Mr. Kimball and a flask of perfume, Lisa begins work. It's hardly a money-saving proposition after she buys a tractor, farm supplies, and hires Alf and Ralph as her housekeepers.

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Getting Even With Haney

0%
March 22, 1967
2x26

Tired of Doris' nagging about having to beat their laundry on a rock in the creek, Fred buys a Grabwell washing machine from Mr. Haney. The boat motor in a barrel goes berzerk, spraying water and clothes everywhere before chasing the Ziffels out their front door. Oliver is more than happy to take their case and stick it to Haney in the courtroom.

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Love Comes to Arnold Ziffel

0%
September 20, 1967
3x3

An unlikely but hilarious love affair between Arnold the pig and Cynthia the basset hound captivates the residents of Hooterville.

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3x11

The residents of Hooterville are in an uproar when Arnold Ziffel the pig is missing.

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Lisa invests $28 in a 10-year-old's "Electric Company;" to show his gratitude, the young wizard "electronificates" the Douglases' farm.

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