John, finding himself bothered by the ordinariness of his life, fantasizes about being involved in a tale of espionage involving pickle forks and a malevolent dragon.

After being bitten by the family cat, Dimity Ann, John takes her away and leaves her in a new housing developement. Lydia believes the cat ran away because of a dislike for her, while Ellen's suspicions come nearer the truth. John fantasizes about being on trial before a real judge for his ""crime.""

Lydia is concerned about nightmares, so John tells stories about his family during his childhood in Columbus, Ohio. He recalls several eccentric relatives, including his Aunt Hester, who was so afraid of burglers that she put her household good outside her bedroom door every night so no one would break in to steal them.

When both Ellen and Lydia's teacher Miss Skidmore agree that John's cartoons are causing his daughter acute embarrassment, John goes to the school and ends up in the office of the principal, who John imagines as a Nazi out of a World War II melodrama.

John suggests The Manhattanite use marriage as the theme of its anniversary issue, and he has his own ideas on the subject. After he elaborates on his thoughts on marriage, including the tendency of wives to tardiness, he ends up being late for a lunch date with Ellen.

John is suffering from cartoonist's block, making him irritable at work and then later at home. In his frustration he chases Lydia out of his study, causing her to fall and accidentally break her arm. Everyone seems to want to take the blame for Lydia's injury, and Ellen thinks she has a solution, at least to John's feelings of guilt.

John once again has to deal with rejection, not only by Greeley, who can't find the humor in one of John's cartoons, but by the young editor of Lydia's sixth-grade school newspaper. John is upset by this double rejection, but his attempts to plead his case don't go the way he wants.

When Phil gives in to his son's wishes because of feelings of guilt, John chastises him for being weak, but when John himself misses a picnic he'd planned to take with Lydia, he imagines the negative consequences of his forgetfulness by conjuring up three possible Lydias of the future, none of them better off for his neglect.