It's Kelso's first day as a police cadet and he gets to drive around in a police cruiser with a real cop. His first stop is the Forman house to break up a domestic disturbance (Fez and Laurie are fighting over her sex life). The encounter leaves Fez burning mad, but he gets a chance for revenge when Kelso leaves the cruiser unattended. Meanwhile, Eric attempts to fix the water pipes and lawn mower in order to prove to Red that he's not a failure. And Jackie joins a Big Sister program at school.

Kelso freaks out when Roy suggests that he may be this year's police academy stooge. The only way to know for sure is to check his file, so Kelso decides to break into the police academy with Hyde and Eric. Meanwhile, Fez is expecting to take a final exam at the INS before finally becoming a U.S. citizen. Donna, Kitty, Jackie, and Red all tutor Fez on their versions of American history.

Donna catches Eric 'taking care of business' in her bathroom and is completely horrified. Afterwards, Eric's friends and family tease him mercilessly and Donna can't even look him in the eye. Amazingly, Eric actually manages to make this embarrassing situation worse when Donna finds out what brought on his need. Meanwhile, Kelso, now calling himself "Mike" and sporting a moustache, goes on a major maturity kick, so Hyde and Fez decide to knock him down a peg or two.